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Intro music: Bags are packed, are you ready to go?…This time tomorrow we’ll be on the road…riding with you into sunnier days…I wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Julie: It’s time to name the neglect from typical food advice. Welcome to the Find Your Food Voice podcast, hosted by me, Julie Duffy Dillon. I’m a registered dietitian with 20 years of experience partnering with folks just like you on their food peace journey. What have we learned? Well, cookie cutter approaches exclude too many people, and you don’t need to be fixed. It’s not you. It’s not me. It’s all of us. Only together, we can start a movement and fix diet culture. And we will. Let’s begin with now.

Transition music: I want to see how the world turns round…Let’s go adventure in the deep blue sea…home is with you wherever that may be…home is with you wherever that may be.

Julie: Hey there, welcome to episode 338 of Find Your Food Voice. I am Julie Duffy Dillon, registered dietitian and I am excited for you to catch a chat with me and the rest of the Find Your Food Voice team. We have Coleen Bremner and Rachel Popik and we all have been going through something and very big kind of transitions in our lives. This past summer as a team, we had a theme. It was fuck around and find out. And before we could really discuss what was going on, we were surviving and trying to just get through the muck and the mess. So as we are kind of coming to a place where the dust is kind of settling but we’re still in the midst of a lot of change and transition, we wanted to share with you just like what’s going on, and especially normalize that nobody has their shit together, even for folks who you think they do have their shit together, especially for the three of us, not so much. And I think we are surviving and thriving. We are getting through our changes in life in a way that works for us individually. And again, we wanted to share that with you and we hope that it helps you to maybe have some more strategies and to feel a little less alone during those hard times. 

Julie: So as I am transitioning into that part of the episode where we have this conversation, I wanted to share just a little bit of the content so you can decide whether or not it is a good listen for you. So we will be mentioning my divorce that is going on right now. Also sharing news of a pregnancy and also news of continued infertility with a mention of infertility treatments. So take care of yourself as you are going through your life in this moment, whether it has a transition or not, you know, it’s best for you. 

Julie: So we are going to get to this conversation with Coleen and Rachel and myself, but first I wanted to fill you in a little bit about the Find Your Food Voice book, how it is going along. And as I’m telling you this, I don’t even have an outline in front of me. So I’m like, oh my goodness, what am I going to share? Well, to be frank, I’m in a place where my transition with the divorce and also we lost a pet a few weeks ago where I have just found that I’m at kind of a writer’s block or just like a speed bump. I’m feeling like the words aren’t flowing that they were about at 15,000 words. I don’t even have the exact number to give you. And I hate that. I like giving you the exact number that I’m on. But I have been working on chapter two and three kind of intermittently. And I have noticed, especially when our pet died that I was just like, I was sitting at the at the keyboard and just it was harder to get words out. So I have given myself permission to take a step back and work on more like the outline and things like that, which for me takes a different type of bandwidth. But what I have been doing throughout this, if this book is news to you, hey, I’m writing a book, it’s the Find Your Food Voice book. And as I’m writing it, you can join me. I’m actually writing the book live for free on TikTok. So you can join me on my TikTok live channel. My handle is FoodVoiceRD. You can also join me when and as I take breaks, so I write for 45 minutes, and then I take a 15 minute break. During the break, if you are in my book community, you can also chat. And some people are using the time where I’m writing as co working time. So maybe you work from home. Other folks are doing something called nesting time and nesting time is this way of kind of cultivating space where you feel safer from diet culture and all the different types of systems that may be harming you in particular based on your identities. And so for many people, they need to journal or meditate or make a grocery list or eat a nourishing meal or have some fun food, whatever it may be. And during that nesting time, it’s kind of like healing time. So I invite you to join me either on TikTok for free or for $5 a month, you can join the book community. I hosted over on Circle and it’s really fun. And I’ll tell you, especially lately because it’s just been feeling more like a slog is having folks during break just to chat with about anything under the sun or what they’re doing during their nesting time or the work that they’re working on has been just so great. I am really extroverted. So writing just by myself in my office is not something that kind of motivates me but connecting with you is something that really energizes me. So I thank you in advance if you’re able to support or enjoy me during these nesting times. So without all being said, we are gonna take a quick sponsor break but we’ll be right back with my conversation with Coleen and Rachel as we talk about our current transitions.

Julie: All right, team. Are you ready to start talking transition? 

Rachel: Let’s do it. 

Coleen: Yeah!

Julie: Let’s do this. And thank you first of all for be willing to share and to talk about this. And Coleen, I’m gonna pass the mic to you so you can kind of organize us. You are the organizer of thoughts. So I thought you could be the best person for the mic for this.

Coleen: Yeah, so to give you, listener, an idea of kind of how this conversation came about, we started talking as a team about what we wanted this episode to be. And with fall right around the corner, it’s such a season of change and transition for lots of folks. And as we’ve all been in our own communities and in our own day -to -day realizing that we all have a lot of transition happening in our lives right now, it just kind of felt like the right conversation to have for all of us. So we thought, you know, we’d talk a little bit, today, about our team, how our team is feeling about some of our different changes and transitions. We also had this like fuck around and find out season as well, which we have really enjoyed. And just talk about, share some personal stories as well of things that are going on with transition with us and our experiences. And then maybe dive into a few tools that might help us move through transition. So that’ll be kind of the vibe for our episode today. And looking forward to sharing all those things with you and maybe hearing about some of your own transitions in your life. Maybe you’re also going through a transition and this is a transition season for you. 

Coleen: So I’m Coleen Bremner for those of you who are listening for the first time. And I am kind of this like community, like marketer /social person. I don’t really have like an official title on our team, but I do a lot. And I really enjoy getting to know all of you. That’s kind of my favorite part of what I do. And during our season of fuck around and find out, I have been cultivating some diet culture dropout episodes and really trying to figure out what would be helpful for our PCOS Power community as well. So that’s kind of been what I’ve been doing this last season. And I’ll pass it on over to Rachel. 

Rachel: Hey, everyone. This is Rachel. I am the PCOS Power Community Manager as well as just taking on the new role of managing the Find Your Food Voice podcast, which is a big transition for me because it is something I’ve never done before. But our dear friend, Yeli, left me with so many good tips and instructions that we are trying to make this transition smooth and flawless for you all. In the past little summer of fuck around and find out, I have really honestly been enjoying the quiet that it’s brought. There’s been less stress on deadlines, and that’s been something I’m really embracing and taking, with the hot weather, the desire to just move slower and be slower and quieter. And so yeah, that’s where I’m at. 

Julie: Love it. 

Coleen: What about you, Julie? 

Julie: So I completely forgot about our phrase, fuck around and find out. But I don’t know why I forgot because that has been my life. And as I start to talk about what I was doing in the fuck around and find out, it’s pretty much going to go into like some self disclosure example of transitions. Because part of the fuck around and find out the reason why as a team, it was kind of our tagline or motto for summer of 2023 is I hadn’t told the team yet, but I knew in June that I would be start to the steps to get a divorce, like I would be separating. And in the state of North Carolina, you have to separate for a year, and you have to like not live in the same house or same, you know, residence. So it had to have this official side to it. And I also like, didn’t want to tell anybody else before we told our kids, you know, the world is small. And so, I kind of knew that the summer was going to have this big shift. But I couldn’t tell anybody why yet. And so I remember telling you all like, I’m just gonna need a really like soft place to land this June. And you all were really cool. You’re like, okay. But then as I told you, yeah, then somehow I don’t know who said it. But yeah, it was kind of like, we’re just gonna fuck around and find out what happens because I wanted for me to do a lot of nothing. Like I, and I didn’t know what that was going to include. Cause I, I mean, I was going to have permission to have nothing happen, but also I didn’t know, I never been through a divorce before. I didn’t know what was going to like, what I was going to need. So I wanted to just have space to do that. Um, but also kind of hold down everything, um, you know, just the, the operations, we needed to do that, but also not start new projects and things like that. So yeah, that was this summer for me was a whole lot of like things that we’ll talk about later, but like a lot of rest and space to figure out what I was going to need. So, so yeah, that was summer of 2023 is definitely going to go down in the history books as a summer. I did see Taylor’s with this summer too. Yes. It was, um, Era’s tour. I, Coleen and I both went to different cities, but went to the Era’s tour, so, you know, we had some experience with that kind of shift, but, um, but yeah, that was the summer. So yeah. 

Coleen: So you may have listened to one of our minisodes this summer. So now, you know, you know, we were still working just in a different way. And, um, you know, we, we kind of decided jumping into this episode, we were going to share some personal experiences. So thank you for sharing that Julie and, and being vulnerable with us and with you listener, um, Rachel, did you want to share your experience? 

Rachel: Yeah. So, um, the, I, it was interesting as we were preparing for this episode and I was thinking about transitions that I’ve been through recently and kind of it struck me that I felt like I haven’t really like been through a transition because I, I often think of transitions as these like almost like acute one -off events rather than like prolonged experiences. And so it took some time to kind of process, you know, something that I’m pretty vocal about and pretty open about. I’ve been going through infertility treatments for about two years now, and, you know, it was something I knew was coming for a long time before we entered into that phase. And I didn’t know it was gonna last this long, but it was something that I was prepared for and like knew about, you know, had done a ton of research about like physical and emotional side effects and kind of thought I had a grasp and an understanding of how it was gonna impact me. But in reflecting, I kind of realized that something that I didn’t would have never occurred to me at the beginning of this journey was that the hardest part of this journey is this feeling of that I’ve just been in and that’s like too long transition period. You know, in transition periods, it’s hard to, it’s hard to like plan for the future. It’s hard to like, you know, make big changes. It’s hard to, you know, make big decisions, things like that. And I feel like I’ve kind of been stuck in that limbo space for two years. And so on the surface, I was like, wow, I like haven’t really been through any major transitions. But I think that the underlying reason of that is the transition in and of itself. And it’s something that that idea of being going through fertility treatments and really not being able to plan for like, you know, like more than a month or two in advance, because you’re constantly thinking like, okay, well, what if I need to do an egg retrieval at that time or what if you know, I can’t plan that vacation because what if I’m lucky and I’m actually eight months pregnant and can’t travel or you know all of those things that like prevent you from planning for things and I, for those of you who know me, I am a very Type A planner like I love organization. I love knowing what’s coming. I love being able to plan five years in advance and so this journey has been one of really challenging those those um defaults in me.

Julie: Yeah, you have to plan for like so many different time periods at the same time And so many different variables. Oh my goodness. Yeah, that sounds exhausting, amongst many other things. Yeah. Hmm. Well, thanks for letting us know about that and sharing it with the listener, too 

Rachel: Of course, and I hope that it brings, you know, I know that I’m not the only one who kind of especially in that like frustration of not being able to like plan and look forward to the the future I know that that’s a pretty common feeling for those going through fertility treatments and I know a lot of folks with PCOS have to go through fertility treatments. And so hoping that by sharing that It kind of helps to validate other people who might be going through similar experiences 

Julie: Yeah, and even how you it sounded like don’t tell me if this is the wrong word But like it’s not like you almost kind of minimized the transition in itself because you’re like it’s not like you’re so in it and close to it it’s probably hard to even name it as a transition 

Rachel: Yeah, it’s total. It’s hard to zoom out and like look at it in that way because it’s such a long prolonged slog, 

Julie: Yeah, yeah, total slog. Oh well, Coleen, tell us about your transition. 

Coleen: Yes. So I wanted to share this in a way that felt comfortable for me on this podcast and with my dear friend Rachel here and with Julie, it seems like the right time to share it with all of you. I am currently 19 weeks pregnant and thank you. Very, very excited. And it’s a huge season of transition for me as an individual person, as a woman, and also as a partner to someone else as we start to think about what this experience means for us. And a lot of what I heard, you know, with what Julie shared and with what Rachel shared, I think the underlying tone for all of us and correct me if I’m wrong here is just with transition comes this uncertainty and it feels unsettling to be in a space of uncertainty. And I was sharing with Rachel before we got on today that I just did a childbirth experience class this weekend. And I was so grateful to have gone through this class because I just had no idea what was coming like come, you know, labor and delivery and come, you know, we hear about all the changes that a body might go through. And we hear we hear about all these different things with the actual just event of delivery. Honestly, I’ve been terrified to even think about. So I think in just, you know, getting some more information and being able to talk openly about my fears and about like what might come, I think has just been really helpful. So yeah, big season of transition for for me and for my partner. 

Coleen: And, you know, we all kind of touched on a little bit of what we need in a season of transition, but I’d love to kind of just dive into that a little bit more. You know, I think that I’ll start and then I’ll pass it on over to you Julie. But I think for me, my like number one thing that I need is like this pretty deep support system. And that can look like just the just words of affirmation from myself sometimes that can look like, you know, being able to share openly with my partner and just sharing and telling him I don’t want any like suggestions. I don’t want you to solve this. I just want you to listen and that can be really helpful. And then reaching out to like friends and loved ones when I’m feeling uncertain or feeling anxiety about what’s coming next. So I think for me, those are kind of how I personally have been coping with like my own transition. And every day is obviously different, right? Like I’m not waking up every day like here is what I need in transition. Like that’s not how it goes. I have a lot of days when I’m like, fuck, I don’t know what to do. And I think that’s cool too. So, yeah, Julie. 

Julie: Yes, I’m like, oh, I can relate to all of those. I mentioned rest earlier, but you know, the thing that I’ve noticed that I’ve needed even like over like micro transitions, you know, I feel like divorce is probably a macro. So like considering all my experiences with micro transitions, I’ve always needed space to feel, I’m a big feeler. I remember one of my one of my first therapists, she’s she really validated my like processing, which has helped me in transitions now. Just like, she’s like, I don’t think you think in words or pictures you think in feelings. And I was like, yes, that is me. No wonder I have such a hard time articulating at times. So I was like, “Okay, this is going to be a macro transition. I need… And I have lots of things going on, lots of balls that I’m always juggling.” So I was like, “I literally need to schedule time just to have space to feel all the feelings.” Then something that was different that I realized I needed as I was preparing for this transition that was new for me, and this may be surprising. I don’t know if it’ll be surprising to you all, maybe it will, and maybe surprising for the listener too. But for all the other transitions that I’ve been through, I feel like I did them pretty independently. I relied a little bit on people, but not a lot. That’s probably something that’s just evolved because of lots of different variables that I’ve just been really self -sufficient. And during COVID, I became really good friends with some local folks. I’ve always had lots of friends that lived in other places that I got to know in college and colleagues that are friends. But this was this different group that started to form during COVID. And we all live within a block or two of each other, and we call ourselves the Alliance because as things were starting to explode with our president at the time and COVID, we were like, “Well, if we needed to go live somewhere on a commune, we would have an alliance together.” And we all were so different. We all had these different roles. One’s a teacher, one was a nanny, one’s a contractor. We have all these different skill sets that were like, “We would be totally self -sufficient.” So anyway, as I was getting to know this group of people, I realized that I had more support than I thought. And so a few of them I felt even more connected to, so I let them know about it beforehand. And I was really surprised. I was like, “Why didn’t rely more on people in the past. It definitely helped to make it a transition to that I definitely don’t feel alone. Like I feel like supported. We had a baby possum get in the house, Doug brought a baby possum in the house. And normally that was something I would have the male partner to go get out of the house, but he was not here. So I was like texting the alliance. One of my alliance members has all the equipment to get rid of a baby possum. It was quite the ordeal. But I also like, I just changed my like, my garbage disposal myself, but I had someone from the alliance come help me. Like I was like, I can do these things. I can manage my life. I can because I have this like wonderful group. It’s like eight other people who have supported me. So that’s the other thing that I think has really helped with this macro transition. So the alliance always grateful. So Rachel, how about you? 

Rachel: Yeah, Julie that totally resonates with me as someone else who tends to process things and to go at things independently. I feel like having the experience of someone or a group of people like kind of forcing you to see the community and how helpful community can be like really makes a difference. So I totally resonate with that. Something else that I think for me personally is really important when it comes to going through transition periods and especially this kind of current long transition that I’m going through, is I am traditionally such a people pleaser and I am a yes person. I am always the first person who’s willing to like help a friend, offer support. And through this process, I’ve kind of realized that I have less to give these days and because my default is to say yes, practicing boundaries and learning how to say no and really kind of protecting my peace and my space has become so, so important. And boundary work is something I’ve been working on for many, many, many years in therapy and has always been an important thing but through periods of transition, I’m realizing how much more important being able to put up boundaries is. And so I’m very grateful that I started that work a long time ago and it’s really coming in handy now. 

Julie: Yeah, like sometimes some of these things, it’s good to have them already practiced. If you can before you need them. 

Coleen: I think hearing both of you speak about what’s helpful something that we talked about but maybe inadvertently is it helps to identify what those helpful things are for you, what do you recognize in the moment as being something that’s unsettling your nervous system maybe a little bit or we’re giving tools but I think that also just identifying like when do I, Coleen, notice that I am feeling unsettled or I’m feeling uncertain about things and what do I do kind of next? You know, I’m a type two enneagram. Julie and I have talked so much about like the enneagram because we both love it. And something I notice within myself is like I shut down. I stop reaching out to friends and stop communicating. And, um, because I don’t want to A, be anyone’s burden and B, I’m normally the one that’s offering like support or help. So to ask for it, it’s a whole different ball game. And, um, I think that, you know, that’s when I recognize like, Oh, I haven’t talked to any of my friends in a long time. I’ve kind of ghosted everybody because I’m not feeling good. And I think it’s also helpful to like identify what those things are for you. They might, I’m sure they look different for you, Julie and you, Rachel. 

Julie: Yeah. Yeah. Um, asking for help too. That’s something that even just like how to do that, I think can be paralyzing, I know it can be for me. Um, it sounds like Rachel, you and I kind of have a similar like independent streak. Yeah. Um, I can totally resonate with the people pleasing. I think especially those of us socialized as women were like kind of conditioned to people, people pleasers. And then like Coleen as a two, I mean, you’re going to win. You’re going to be the people pleaser. You’re bringing the casseroles and things like, you know, you’re organizing the meal train, um, and yeah, learning how to ask, I think has, um, I don’t know, at 48, I feel like in the last 10 years, at 38, it was a lot harder than it is now. Um, but I remember kind of getting trapped in kind of a people pleasing mode. Like I felt bad when I didn’t tell some people about this divorce because, you know, people I was really close to, they didn’t know. But again, I just felt weird talking about it before my kids knew. And before, like my family knew. And so I, I told a few people who had been through a divorce. I kind of felt safe telling them to also like, you know, be hush, hush about it. And, uh, uh, I remember one of them said, like I told them, I was like, I feel so bad that I am not telling this group that I’m really close to. And she was like, this is your timeline. There’s like no wrong way to like let people know about this. She’s like, you could tell no one ever. And that’s still the right thing. Like, you don’t have to like have this like, it’s up to you. And that is a big theme that I’ve heard in this process, like, hey, it’s up to you what you want. Which I’m like, okay, that is new. Like what individually what I want. And so I have had to flex that muscle, I guess, like that metaphor of like practicing asking for help. And yeah, after like three or four people, it started to be a little bit easier. Like I can remember practicing on a few people that I felt safer with. And then now like, telling my kids teacher, you know, like people who I don’t know very well, but they need to know because of like, you know, what may happen in class. And I wish that was normalized, that it’s okay that it’s stressful. And then you could decide when, if at all, to tell people and, you know, there’s no right or wrong. So I kind of went off on a tangent. But that’s kind of was coming up for me. Anything coming up for you, Rachel? 

Rachel: Something that Julie said, that I’m kind of, I’m thinking through is that it’s been really helpful for me to, as I’m practicing asking for help, because I’m not one to do that, kind of reflecting on and remembering how good it feels when other people ask for my help and how much like joy I get out of helping others and recognizing that like, well, I can’t be the only one who like gets joy out of helping. And so therefore, like me asking for help isn’t a burden and people aren’t going to see it as a burden. But like, I have to like remind myself of that before I ask anyone for help ever, because my default is to like, see that asking for help is a burden. Yeah, like Julie said, it’s a muscle that needs to be flexed because it’s not always easy.

Julie: It’s not. Well, that’s where like the Enneagram will be helpful because whoever’s a two, they’re gonna love. Like that’s like totally, I could see you shine and have so much joy Coleen whenever like you’re like, when we ask for help and you’re like, yep, let me do it. That’s awesome. And what’s with the burden thing? I feel like that is, I say that as like me too, like why do we have this belief that we internalize about like needing help is this horrible thing or like that we’re a burden or that a burden is bad, ’cause we’re all going to need something. And if we live long enough, if we’re lucky to live long enough, we’re gonna need help, like all those things, like that’s just like the human experience. I don’t know, I’m kind of like asking this rhetorical question. Like, what the fuck, why is this of all? I probably have the answer already, but it’s those big systems that are part of diet culture too.

Coleen: Yeah. 

Rachel: Yeah, absolutely. 

Coleen: I think too, in asking for help, when I, you know, sometimes I throw out the question like, well, what do you need in this moment? Or sometimes I won’t even ask what someone needs, depending on, you know, if they’re like, I don’t know, because that’s okay too. You don’t know what you need. Like I don’t know what I need 50 % of the time. So that’s a fine response to me. I think like the next response can be even more impactful sometimes than even the question of like what do you need in that like just hearing someone say, hey, I’m here for you for anything you need. Or like, you know what? I’m gonna shoot so -and -so a $5, $10 coffee thing on Venmo and just be like ‘thinking about ya’. Cause that is something that like I think about. And I’m like, even if I knew people were just thinking about me that I’m not alone in this situation, sometimes that’s enough to like get me to the next day. I don’t know if you all feel similarly about that but 

Rachel: Absolutely and I think that’s something that Coleen you just said like asking that that question of people like what do you need in this moment I’ve realized how important like being asked that like kind of narrow specific question is because that like checking in like “how are you doing?” like “what can I do for you?” those like kind of general questions feel so overwhelming to answer like my I’m just gonna be like fine like I’m I don’t know I it’s it’s so hard to answer those questions but when people I’ve found that when people A. just like check in just you know sending you warm wishes I’m thinking about you or asking that way more specific like “what are you feeling right now?” “ what can I do for you right now?” those questions are easier to answer and that’s it’s an easier way for me to receive help then then kind of yeah 

Julie: Yeah yeah you know that the theme that I think all three of us mentioned with transitions is how it can be so overwhelming and maybe even paralyzing especially for like you Rachel like the duration is so long like it can just be plum out you know of any kind of ways of like knowing and so yeah like those really open -ended questions can be just it can be hard to answer and I I’m thinking about too, like there’s like this moment, I don’t know if you all have it too, but like, when someone asks you, how are you? like, do you have a moment where you’re like, “do I want to really say?”, am I just going to be like fine? Because it’s like, part of it is, part of it is like, judging the person who’s asking, you know, do they really want to know? And then also like, do I really want to talk about it right now? Like, while I’m picking my kids up at school, do I really want to go into this right now and have a boo -hoo? No. So I’m fine. Yeah. And you know, something else I’m thinking about too. And I don’t know if this kind of, we have a kind of a loose outline calling. So tell me if I’m going in the wrong direction. But I’m thinking about like, even more like sharing. And we already kind of have started this, but like, how have people, like, given support that felt really aligned and like, you know, what are the words they use? And I think for a listener, pregnancy, infertility, divorce, like, those are like big, huge whammies of things. And besides death, like, that probably just be the fourth one to add. Like, there’s, there’s like, so many, like, oh, shit, I don’t want to say the wrong thing. And so maybe even hearing more of like, what have people said that has felt like really helpful to you. And one thing that I’ve built upon in the past is I remember I had a friend, her name is Katrina. And I was, I think I was, I had just given birth. And I was either on the way home from the hospital or maybe I was home from the hospital, like two or three days. So like, it was super new. And everyone was asking me, what do you need? What do you need? What do you need? I don’t need anything. I don’t know. I’m like, I don’t know how to answer that. You know, I’m like, I haven’t slept. My boobs looked like minced meat. Like it was just like, I got, I don’t know what’s going on. So, so Katrina texted, “I’m at Target. What do you need?” That’s all she said. And I was like, Oh, I can answer that. I need toothpaste. I need some more pads. I didn’t know how many pads I was going to need. And so she brought it, dropped it off at my house. She’s like, “I’ll leave it on your porch.” So I didn’t have to be ready for someone to come over. Like it was just, and I’ve used that ever since. Like whenever I’m at Target, anybody in my life, I can be just, I don’t know, not able to get anything in that moment. I’m like, hey, I’m here. And as a person who’s like offering help, I more often get an answer of like something specific instead of I’m fine, you know? – Yeah. – And to me, I don’t know if it is for everybody else, but for me, it just is an easier question to answer. And it feels less burdensome ’cause they’re already there, you know? So yeah, I’m curious, Rachel or Coleen, do you have anything that people have said that you’re like, “Yes, this really is helpful to hear.” – I think that something that has been helpful really recently is hearing from folks that are well -established in my life that like they’re there for me. Again, like for me, it’s that reassurance that like they’re not going anywhere. When this transition happens or like as it happens, they’re there. It’s that like, I think that twos have this fear of being unloved, unwanted, or not needed. And so just hearing like, “Hey, we’re gonna be here through all of this. “It’s gonna be really tough. Like you’re gonna have really shit days. But like at the end of that day, we’re gonna be here.” It’s just really, really like impactful for me. It doesn’t even, like I said, it doesn’t even need to be like a physical thing or an action or anything like that. Just the words of affirmation that like, “Hey, we’re here and we’re your community and we’re not going anywhere.” It’s like fire for me. And then in giving and providing support, I tend to serve with food. I tend to send a meal or a coffee or something that I know. ‘Cause I know you’re gonna need to eat, regardless of how you’re feeling in this moment. At some point, you’re going to need to eat. And so I like to send, you know, like a Grub Hub or a Door Dash gift card or something for those tough times so that they know, like, not only am I thinking about you, but I want you to like nourish yourself, take care of yourself. 

Julie: Yes, love that. 

Rachel: 100 % with you on that. Big, big fan of a meal drop. My favorite thing to do for people.

Julie: Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that’s so great, especially on Find Your Food Voice. We love hearing, you know, how food can be helpful. 

Coleen: Yes, I think, honestly, that was such a great spot to wrap up our conversation. I think the one thing that we also talked about, you know, in preparation for this episode today was just being okay, like normalizing, not having your shit together. You know, we talked about this fuck around and find out season and, like, we all really embraced it. And as we were talking about, you know, preparation for this episode, we were like, you know what, let’s just all normalize not having our shit together. Like, it’s okay. Mm -hmm. It’s so lovely to hear from people who I think have their shit together and just like a teeny peek behind the curtain and be like, oh, no, they drop, they drop shit too. So, so yeah, I hope for you, the listener, that’s something that you got from this too, that like, transitions are hard, whether big, small, in the middle, you know, whatever, wherever you are, it’s like, messy, and there’s no right or wrong way, and you still need to eat during them. You know, and actually, I will even tag on, because I just was thinking about this before, is during some of my period of transition, especially as I was like waiting to tell people, there was a good like six month period before people knew, I remember just mechanically needing to eat, like just being like, I don’t even hungry, but I know it is time to eat. And so, yeah, no matter your transition, remember, especially since I’m a dietitian, remember, you need nourishment, including food. So, I’m so glad that you two were willing to sit down with me and have this chat. So thank you so much. And we’ll put in the show notes links for you to follow Coleen and Rachel on their socials and anything else before we sign off for today? You guys good? 

Rachel: Nothing from me. This is wonderful. I feel like supported even just from this conversation. 

Julie: So there you have it. I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Rachel and Coleen as we unpacked all the transitions. You know, after this conversation, I felt just so much lighter, like just having the place to talk about it with the two of them helped me feel better. So I hope by listening, it helped you to unpack what you needed to unpack as well and gave you some new next steps or just helped you to feel a little less alone as you’re going through whatever messy middle that you’re in right now. And it is time for me to take off for this episode, but I will be back next week with a listener letter. And if you have not sent in your dear food letter, please know we really need your letter. We are needing more letters to include the podcast. So you can send that over to us at info@juliedillonrd.com. You can also submit it via our website. There is on the contact form or you can click the link in the show notes right now that sends you over to Google Form. We have many different ways. Whatever is easier for you, we would love, love, love to have your dear food letter to maybe include it in a future episode. All right. so I will see you next week. Until next time, take care. 

Julie: Thank you for listening. I am Julie Duffy Dylan and this is the Find Your Food Voice podcast. Ready to join the Anti Diet Movement and take the Food Voice pledge? Go to julieduffydillon.com and sign your name to the growing list of people saying no to diets and yes to their own food voice. The Find Your Food Voice podcast is produced by me, Julie Duffy Dylan and my team of kick ass folks. I couldn’t make the show without Yel Cruz, assistant producer and resident book lover and Coleen Bremner, customer service coordinator and professional hype master. Audio editing is from Toby Lyles at 24 sound. Music is Fly Free by Hartley. Are you looking for episode transcripts? Get them at julieduffydillon.com where you can also submit letters for the podcast, give us feedback and sign the food voice pledge. We need your voice to end diet culture. We literally can’t do this without you. Subscribe to the Find Your Food Voice podcast to get weekly inspiration and education on how we can defeat diet culture and reclaim our own food voice. I look forward to seeing you here next week for another episode of the Find Your Food Voice podcast. Take care.