Bingeing or out of control eating experiences occur as you are finding your Food Voice. You probably will experience more of them as you move away from dieting or try out intuitive eating.
Keep in mind binges or other out of control eating experiences don’t mean you are doing anything wrong. An uptick in binges signals repair is happening.
Reading through a *client’s food journal, I saw a starred entry. We had been discussing different types of hunger–meal hunger vs snack hunger. When I asked him about it, Paul exhaled loudly and told me that meal hunger was different. It felt panicky and rushed. Reading through more of the entry I noted his penciled in Binge 🙁.
I looked at him and could feel his shame from across the room.
“You didn’t do anything wrong Paul” I said gently.
“But it felt wrong. I felt so calm and in control of my eating that day. I was thinking I was cured but then I had a rushed lunch and a stressful afternoon in client mediation. By the time I got home I had my head in every pantry cabinet and just ate right out of the fridge. When I finally stopped eating I felt guilt and I also felt physically awful. In that moment I wanted to give up. But then I heard your voice telling me I can’t do this wrong. To just notice. It all feels so easy until it isn’t. What should I have done instead?”
I explained to Paul how important these experiences are to find your Food Voice. We need these experiences that feel like missteps–but aren’t–in order to know how to take care of ourselves.
“This is your data that informs you. I encourage you to notice the swirling judgment about what transpired yet try to not stay there. I wish these tough experiences didn’t have to happen but everyone needs them in order to figure out what they need.” I asked him if it was ok to ask some follow up questions and he nodded in approval.
“You mentioned you had a rushed lunch. Do you remember what you had?”
Paul told me it was a boxed catered lunch that had a chicken salad, apple, and a roll. “Thinking back, I remember working on that afternoon’s mediation. I knew it would be stressful and didn’t feel hungry at all. I tried to eat anyway because I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat during the meeting. I think I picked at the salad and apple; I didn’t eat the roll.”
“I wonder if that just wasn’t enough food to get you through that meeting? Especially this stressful meeting?” I wondered out loud.
“But why did I lose my mind when I got home? I felt such an urgency to eat anything and everything. I remember thinking that I didn’t have time to cook. I needed to just eat NOW. I truly felt an animal ripping open the cabinet doors. I felt so out of control.”
I could see the shame Paul was feeling sharing this with me. It was so hard for him to admit this to me. These moments are close to the soul; it was protected information.
“Paul, would you be ok if I shared some thoughts on this you may find helpful?”
“That is why I am here–help me stop doing this! I want to stop bingeing!” he pleaded.
“It sounds like in this moment your body and brain were overwhelmed with panic hunger. Panic hunger may feel out of control. Many call it binge eating. While I am not one to correct someone’s description of their eating experiences, I think it’s futile to pathologize something so normal and important for survival.
“You weren’t doing anything wrong, rather you were being a successful human. When our bodies need food urgently, preparing a ‘sensible meal’ (🙄🙄🙄) won’t cut it. You didn’t lose your mind or control–rather your body was maintaining it. It sent you clear messages that eating was the absolute priority. Now I appreciate you did not like this experience and felt sluggish afterward. We can chat about options for next time this happens if you like.”
Paul countered “I don’t want this to happen again. It took me days to recover mentally. I felt physically ill when I woke up the next morning like I was hungover.”
I shared with Paul the seven important considerations in understanding panic hunger while finding your Food Voice.
They include:
1️⃣ Panic hunger is normal when your body doesn’t get enough food and/or rest. Sometimes you can predict this and sometimes you cannot. When you notice panic hunger hitting, practice saying it out loud: this is panic hunger. Reassure yourself this is normal and that you will be ok.
2️⃣ When you experience panic hunger, let yourself eat. Permission is key to healing. I encourage you to have plenty of ready-to-eat shelf stable food that you enjoy and feels energizing to you.
3️⃣ Resist the urge to only allow certain foods during panic hunger. Foods with positive diet culture messaging will leave you unsatisfied, stuck longer, and exhausted. Remember, prioritizing healing is healthy. Sometimes eating a cookie or chips or whatever is satisfying in that moment is the healthiest choice. I don’t say this lightly: this is very important while also easier said than done. It is normal for this to take lots of practice.
4️⃣ Reassure yourself after you stop eating that your response to panic hunger is an evolved human trait. This is absolutely not a weakness. You are being a successful human.
5️⃣ Once you feel calmer physically and emotionally, go through the last 8 to 12 hours. Be curious and compassionate about your self-care:
- did you have a stressful day?
- Did you give yourself enough food throughout the day?
- Did you take any breaks?
- This may be obvious like it was for Paul or it might not.
- Some of my clients need a number of panic hunger experiences to find themes.
6️⃣ Use this new data moving forward. Experiment with implementing more self-care. Did not eating enough earlier in the day precede the panic hunger? Experiment with adding more. Did you not give yourself enough break time? Consider adding a few more moments to briefly take deep breaths between meetings.
7️⃣ As uncomfortable as they are, panic hunger experiences will build the foundation to know how much self-care you need to add to your day.
⭐️ Remember, going through these experiences gives you important information on your specific body’s needs. It is impossible to know this information without stumbling upon these uncomfortable experiences.
⭐️ Practice permission when they happen, consider the new data, and try to move on. Keep in mind everyone experiences panic hunger so having these experiences are never failures.
It’s just new data and that is a win.
Thank you for hanging out in email with me. Tomorrow I am posting info on ideas after emotionally eating. If there’s ever a lesson that sends the internet trolls, it’s my belief on how to navigate emotional eating.
See you tomorrow and let’s see what drama they bring!
Warmly,
Julie
*just know this isn’t a real client rather what we call a “composite client.” This is someone who’s behaviors match what is common. I would NEVER share client information in any form anywhere especially in a blog post
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