I see how tired you are these days. It tracks with how exhausting the world feels. Let’s chat.
Holiday pressures lead many of us to rely on mile long to-do lists, with feelings of inferiority rather than attending to self-care. Don’t you just love the warm fuzzy holiday feelings of peace and joy?!? (Sarcasm intended.)
Many caregivers feel the month of December is all about providing experiences for everyone else, and typical self-care strategies just don’t fit in. This month, many people put themselves on the bottom of the priority list. While this may help your family attend more holiday parties or have more decorations around the house, ignoring self-care has its consequences. For example, attending your regular weekly meditation gathering may be tough to squeeze in, yet doing so will help you feel less stressed, sleep better, and be more present this holiday.
Remember, self-care is not selfish.
In order to promote grounded connection, consider these three sanity saving pointers:
Have At Least One Hot Meal Sitting Down Per Day
I remember when my children were infants I rarely sat down. As the primary caregiver, I was constantly attending to their needs. I have memories of changing diapers, feeding them, keeping them from pinching the dog, keeping them out of the cat litter, and otherwise protecting this fragile new human. I was sleep deprived, and constantly ate on the run–with one hand. If I couldn’t eat something with one hand, I didn’t eat it. And I wondered why I felt like a chaotic mess!
I read a recommendation from Geneen Roth* that shifted my self-care strategies. She wrote that we all need to sit down and eat one hot meal on a real plate each day. The food choice wasn’t important; rather, it was the time spent sitting and focusing on the meal that was important. This recommendation spoke to me, because I connected with this being an opportunity to nurture and nourish my mind, body and spirit. And, oh boy, I needed that!
Even during chaotic holiday schedules, be sure to give yourself at least one eating opportunity each day to eat with loving kindness, focusing on just that. You’ll find that it calms you and reenergizes you– so you can continue to keep your little human from sticking metal into electrical outlets or eating the dog food.
Stay Off Social More Often and Other Ways to Avoid Comparison
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” I think this quote by Theodore Roosevelt needs to be on every social’s disclaimer page. Holiday traditions and activities involve limitless options for creativity. This is cool–for those who love hodge podging or baking decadent desserts–yet it can lead the rest of us down the dark dreary place of comparison and perfectionism.
Instead of looking into what everyone else is doing, consider the holiday traditions that give you the most joyful feelings>>
What do you remember as a kid that you want to pass on?
Give yourself permission to pick the ones, if any, that you have the mental bandwidth for this holiday season.
Resist the urge to search online for what you should be doing.
Focus on what you want to do, and practice being okay with limiting the choices.
To do this, you may want to avoid some social media, or all, until the urge to compare goes away.
Move Your Body in a Way that Feels Good Including Not Moving
Our body has ways of letting us know that the movement we’ve chosen is one worth repeating by the pleasure it gives us. By staying aware of your body’s response, you’ll know what your body needs and wants. You’ll know that you’re moving in the right direction (nice pun, right?!?) when the movement feels good.
As you experience the holiday, notice what your body is craving>>
Do you want to dance to your favorite holiday songs?
Take a nighttime stroll to admire the lights?
Do you crave stillness?
Attend to your body’s desire to move or not, and you’ll notice more connection to the present–and less chaos with what life throws your way.
Those are my holiday suggestions. What did I miss? Hit reply and let me know!
Happy holidays friends!
Warmly,
Julie
p.s. *next to Geneen Roth because she was an early influence on my move away from dieting. Unfortunately, I have since moved away from her teachings as I examined my own anti-fat bias and appreciating her work does not align with that.
p.p.s. Did you listen to this week’s podcast episode feating Fatema Jivanjee-Shakir? It is for that worn out caregiver trying to breastfeed while also having to manage food intolerances. It is a vulnerable episode and send it to the exhausted new parent in your life! Listen on your favorite podcast app or on youtube here.
