I was walking Doug today while it’s still Spring (because by June things are hot and muggy where I live) and ended up jotting down something in my notes app.
I was thinking about what you may want to read if you are trying to break up with your dieting behavior. I started brainstorming and jotted this below.
[Before reading them please know they are barely sussed out. We could expand a lot on these. And I am trying to not let my perfectionism get in the way with this email. TIA!]
Why break up with your diet?
- If it worked, shouldn’t it have already? Period. It’s taken enough tries.
- Think back to your very first diet. How old were you? I have a feeling it was when you were too young to be thinking about your body in that way (yet we don’t ever need to think we are too much no matter our age).
- Would you guide your past younger self to a different choice?? What would you recommend instead of that diet? That is your next step because it is NEVER too late to reconnect with your Food Voice.
- Have you looked into why diets exist? You may be assuming they started as a way to improve health. That’s what I used to think. Gulp. Nope. There’s historical evidence that diets started along with enslaving African people.
How does one start breaking up with dieting?
- Make a timeline of ALL the diets you have been on. Using a timeline of your life so far may help including important moments like graduation, weddings, births, traumas, beginnings, and endings. As tough as this work is, it will help you come up with an ASTRONOMICAL number–the amount of times you have tried to diet. If you do this exercise for the first time, hit reply and let me know the number you come up with. Is this enough?
- Consider how SEDUCTIVE diets are. I often refer to diets as a Should Eat Fantasy Script. Diet culture and other oppressive systems have downloaded a seductive fantasy in our brain without our consent that following diet rules will open up the doors for joy and hope. The Script intentionally distracts us from oppressive systems to keep us focused on self-improvement rather than expunging the source of the harm.
- Really sit with the origins of dieting. If you like to read, I recommend these four books (and in this order too yet you do you):
- The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renée Taylor
- Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings
- Belly of the Beast by Da’shaun Harrison
- Decolonizing Wellness by Dalia Kinsey
How does one keep going while breaking up with dieting?
- Feel the feels. You may feel sad then angry (that is the most common sequence I have seen) which may come across as doing it wrong. Nope. Rejecting the Should Eat Fantasy Script will bring up a LOT. All of it is valid and important.
- Start prioritizing this: your body is WORTHY of healing and respect. It is ok if you are not in a place where you love everything or even anything about your body.
- Keep in mind, the finding your Food Voice journey is not linear nor on a timeline. I see the journey more like layers that need tending to. The layers build upon each other yet our toxic dieting culture will try to break the layers apart. The layers are at even more risk if you live in a body that is marginalized in today’s world. This part of your existence means that we need to be attending to all the layers, even those which we may feel we already “completed” to be sure our needs are met. In a word: breaking up with your diet for good may bring up old wounds that haven’t really healed.
- Notice. Notice what comes up. Notice what energizes you. Notice what drains you. This may be food yet also may be places or people or situation.
That’s what I have so far!
Do you have thoughts–what do you need to break up with your diet? Or, what helped you?? Would love to read what you have to say.
Take care.
p.s. I am publishing this during my birthday month! To celebrate I am offering 20% off my current offerings including:
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