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Hey there, welcome to episode 394 of the Find Your Food Voice podcast. I am Julie Duffy Dillon, registered dietitian and your host. Welcome to this very special holiday diet culture IRL. This is an episode where I get to sit down with Rachel Popik and Coleen Bremner who make up the Find Your Food Voice team and we are discussing how this holiday is going to be different. We are of course post-election and as a team, this is actually the first time my team and I have been able to see each other face to face since the election. So we took a little time just unpacking how this is going to impact our holiday experience and then weaving in what we think is important to always weave in during the holidays, how you are going to provide space for permission and self-care, talking about bodies and food in a way that’s getting in the way of your repair process of your complicated history with food. we are gonna get to it because this conversation is so, important. So before we get to this conversation though, we’re gonna have a very quick word from our sponsor.

Julie: Hello, team. Nice to see you.

Rachel: Hi.

Coleen: Hi Julie!

Julie: So we’ve had some activity on our text thread, but this is the first time we’ve seen each other’s faces post-election. So how the fuck are you? I I had to do an F-bomb, right? Unwell is, yeah. my goodness. Yeah.

Coleen: Unwell. Unwell, Julie.

Rachel: Just a big old oof.

Coleen: Yeah, I, what’s that saying? Those who don’t learn from history are bound to repeat it. and here we are again.

Julie: I think it’s important for us to even just talk about what are we what are we doing in this moment, you know, with all our feels, and we may be feeling different things, but like, tell me about what you’re doing for yourself or like what you’re finding you need in this moment.

Rachel: Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, I’m feeling it’s interesting because I think I was expecting to feel a lot more angry than I do. I think this time around, I just feel a deep, profound sadness that we’re here again. and something that’s really, really been helping me kind of get through that. And I know there’s a lot of talk online about the importance of community and building community resiliency and like that’s something that I always find really impactful and helpful to myself, but I’m just re-energized and re-committed focusing on my community, building community, and the main ways I do that are through working with my local community fridges, the Germantown community fridges. And so just doing a lot of cooking and feeding people, which is what I do, but you know, along with community members and neighbors and friends. And it really is, is helping to kind of see pockets of light. And so, yeah, that’s, that’s what I’m trying to focus on.

Julie: Can you share with us what a community fridge is?

Rachel: absolutely. So there are lots of community fridges around the country and also around the world and we can put in the show notes. of like there’s, there are a few websites that you can look up to see if there are community fridges around you. But they’re similar to a food pantry in that it’s free food, but oftentimes they are in a, they’re in a local place, like on a street, there’s usually a fridge. So you know, refrigerated food and then a pantry that goes along with it. They’re open 24 seven and it’s just kind of idea of, of leave what you can take what you need. And so people are constantly dropping off food, either like pre-prepared meals that they’ve made or just raw ingredients. And then people come and take what they need from the fridges something else that’s really cool about a lot of fridges is they partner with different organizations to kind of divert, that’s the word I’m looking for, food waste. And so, like I was telling Coleen and Julie before we started recording, the community fridges near us got like over 400 pounds of turnips in our possession this week. And so I have a huge 50 pound bag of turnips that my goal this week is to figure out what to do with that many turnips, turn them into something yummy to put back in the fridges. So yeah.

Coleen: Turnips for turnips. Woo.

Julie: Wow. my gosh, that’s like the perfect dietitian rally cry shirt. I can see it.

Coleen: Turn up for turnips. Man.

Julie: my goodness. Wow. Well, thank you for sharing about what it was. I love the work, like seeing that what you’re doing on your Stay Doughy account on TikTok, I just love seeing what you’re making for it. there’s like a big food prep area that you all come together and make food for it too.

Rachel: Yeah, so we’re really lucky that one of our fridges is outside of a Methodist church that’s this really huge old building and they’ve been incredible and they’ve welcomed us in and they have a commercial kitchen in their basement that we go and prep food in all the time, which is really, really wonderful and makes it a lot easier to do the work that we do.

Julie: Yeah, that is so great. So Coleen, tell us about what’s up with you.

Coleen: Yeah. So I feel like I really quickly went through the five stages of grief myself. I, I honestly, I S I was recognizing each stage. I’m someone that has experienced grief, firsthand. And I think, you know, grief looks different for everyone as we know, but I really, I raced through all five stages and I felt like multiple times kind of, and then as I started to, figure out what next steps look like for me, I found myself leaning into the same direction that Rachel does. It probably is why we’re very close friends because I thought, okay, I don’t want to get caught up in the guilt or caught up in the like, feeling sorry for myself kind of, which is a privilege in and of itself and leans a little bit on the white fragility side. So I recognized that and I said, okay, how can I mobilize? How can I start to think about ways that I can impact others that will be helpful and not harmful? And I think that one of those things for me is doing some volunteering time at Planned Parenthood, driving folks. And we, you know, we’re all, those of us that are sitting here right now are very aligned in our values. And that’s something that brings us together as a team. And I think that just also leaning into like your support networks, whoever those folks may be can really make a difference. I I reached out to Julie countless times and just been like, hey, I just need to like get this off my chest. I don’t really need a response. I just really need someone to listen to me. And I think there’s power in that as well. If you have someone or a few friends that you can kind of just talk through some of your feelings, sometimes that’s just a great next step too. And so I think that, you know, while Rachel and I may be on the like, okay, what can we do next track? Like you may still be processing listener and you may still be figuring out what that looks like for you. And that’s also okay. So I just want to talk about that as well.

Julie: Yeah, I think it’s important to name. We’re all going to experience different things and we’re going to need different things. And we could spend a whole podcast talking about that part. I think what I would encourage all of us, the three of us and anyone listening to, to notice what you need. Like that in itself is so powerful. And then where can you find. And it sounds like, yeah, for the three of us. That’s something that we’re really leaning on right now. where can we take action? That’s something that said over and over to when I’m feeling stuck with all these feelings. like, OK, where can I take action? Where can I take action? Let’s do And yeah, so in hearing how the two of you are doing it, these tangible things has been really great for me to hear because it’s giving me more ideas on where I could take action. So thank you.

Coleen:Yeah. Thanks for sharing. And I think, you know, as we move into the holiday season, so we’ve got Thanksgiving right around the corner and then Hanukkah and Christmas all the other holidays that are just around the corner, New Year’s, how are you both thinking about carrying kind of those ideas into the holiday season? What feels like it’s going to fill your cup during, let’s talk about Thanksgiving since that’s the next one. You know, what fills your cup? What are you looking forward to? And what are some tools that folks may be able to use during maybe some of those challenging conversations around the Thanksgiving table?

Julie:  Who wants to go first? It seems like a mountain.

Rachel: I mean, I can, I can jump in. I know it does. I know. like trying to like dig through that.

Rachel: Thanksgiving to me is one of the best holidays because I love to feed people. It’s my jam. And so any holiday that I get to spend the day with a marathon of cooking that ends with me feeding all my loved ones is perfect for me that in and of itself will bring me a lot of joy. But something that I really kind of amping myself up for and really holding near to me as something to help get through the holidays to manage my insulin resistance and PCOS related stuff is the importance of eating regular meals. Even though we have our big Thanksgiving feast at sometime in the afternoon, like late afternoon, early evening, that I still need to eat a full balanced breakfast with protein. I still need to eat lunch. I need to continue to eat regularly throughout the day and make sure I have enough protein and fiber to kind of help get me through.

It’s really easy when you’re so focused on cooking to kind of just be like, I’m nibbling and it’s, and like, so I think I’m, so I think I’m eating, but I’m not really getting the micronutrients I need and enough protein and those things that I know will really kind of help stabilize my blood sugar level and also just keep me sane as a person. assuming that at least some of you listeners are in the same boat.

Coleen: That’s so important, Rachel.

Julie: Yeah, yeah, I think too. The thing that I can appreciate about the holiday experience for a lot of folks is if they’re having a Thanksgiving meal, oftentimes it’s at a different time Some people I know have it at 2 o’clock or 4 o’clock or just a time that was normally not when they would be meal. And that picking experience, that’s what I call that when kind of just like eat as you prep or just For a lot of folks, I could appreciate that they may just end up doing that because they are just like in the moment hanging out with people. And so I’m glad you mentioned like that experience because it can make our bodies and our minds just feel kind of blah, you know, and it can feel, lead to like a rundown feeling. think especially if someone has insulin stuff going on like insulin resistance or PCOS or both of those. Sometimes they can almost have an anxious kind of feeling with it. And so if you notice that, I would say be super gentle with yourself and use it as just a cue of like, yeah, my body probably needed more than I gave it. Even if you felt like you’re eating the whole day when we don’t have that umph from like a meal, it can make our bodies just feel different. So even if you’re not able to stop, yeah, just be gentle with yourself.

Rachel: Yeah, and I’m still processing through this and making my plan as we’re talking about this, but I’m realizing that I’m gonna need to plan those meals, like those pre-holiday meals in advance because I’m not gonna wanna add something else to my cooking list to do. Like all of the food that’s in the fridge is already dedicated to the Thanksgiving meal. And so I really am gonna need to, ahead of time, make sure I have my breakfast food, my lunch food kind of there and ready to go. So not a time you normally think of needing to meal prep for, but honestly, I think might be even more important than the day to day.

Julie: Yeah, that’s a good point. Yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, make it easier. And then also, like, if you have people staying at your house, I like the idea of, having someone already thought about this, like, to make room and make space, permission to take care of yourself outside of, the big fancy

Rachel (14:00)

Hmm?

Yeah.

Julie:  That’s something that I know clients and I have is, like, how to even like, going into the kitchen and having a meal when the day is already food focused and people are already talking about not eating to prepare for the Thanksgiving meal. So yeah, I the idea of like, if you’re hosting folks to like make space for like people to have actual meals outside of that one, you know? So. So good, Rachel. I also just love in listening to you kind of share that your own self-awareness and your own in tune-ness with your body is just very cool. And I feel like that’s something that, you know, it takes practice, right? Like it’s not something that you woke up one day and you were like, I know this is exactly what I need. Like it’s something that I am always inspired by with you. So I just really appreciate that. And as you’re talking, I’m like,

Coleen: This reminds me like I should probably set a water reminder for myself because that’s my big thing. Like I just don’t drink enough water and that fills my cup pun very much intended. So, I just feel like, it’s here for the puns. I feel like that’s a great reminder for me. Like, I’ll download like my water reminder app and it’ll ping me on my watch. And then that I check in and I’m like, yeah, I haven’t had a single sip of water in an hour. I should probably have a sip of water. So I think that.

Coleen: helps me to remember like, okay, we have to care for ourselves before we can care for anybody else, right? And fill our own cups. So yeah, I think that’s so, so important. Julie, is there anything else that you want to add on the kind of what fills your cup and maybe what you’re looking forward to about being around that Thanksgiving table?

Julie:  Yeah, and you know, this Thanksgiving is going to be different because I don’t have my kids with me this year. This is the first time I won’t have them on Thanksgiving. And so I’m like, what do I want to

Julie: And whenever I go through times where I feel more emotions, like I have to do a lot to like ground myself. I don’t know if anybody else can relate to that. Otherwise, my anxiety will be like taking up all the room in the room. So I keep thinking like I wanna keep it simple and I wanna like see beautiful nature. So I’m gonna have some time with my family on Thanksgiving day. But then after that, I’m planning a hike with Doug and I’m like calling him my boyfriend just sounds weird, cause I’m almost 50, but like whatever you call someone that you’re So yeah, I’m playing a hike for the day after Thanksgiving. When I say hike, it’s really going to be a stroll. A stroll. And just like, I just want to see.nature because there’s something about nature and that keeps me really grounded. So I’m going to be doing that. I’m probably enjoying leftovers at the same time. yeah. Yes. What about you, Coleen?

Coleen: Yes. Yum. That does sound lovely. Yeah, I think for me, my kitchen can get a little tense in our household. Not by like any fault of anyone’s. It’s just, I don’t know, something about having more people in your kitchen than usual, like prepping and getting things ready. can feel a little bit stressful. And of course, everyone has a different view around like the language they use around food, right? And the language they use around their bodies. So when you kind of put all those people in one space, it can feel a little bit stressful and cause a little bit of anxiety for me. And so what I like to do, same kind of grounding, Julie, I remove myself from the situation. That’s what feels right for me. So I will take my daughter who is now, my gosh, I can’t believe it, nine months and we’ll pop in the stroller and we’ll go outside and go on a walk. sometimes my husband will come and sometimes it’ll just be the two of us. But it is just a great way for me to get kind of grounded and re-centered and recognize that like the stress and anxiety that was in the kitchen I have now left behind me. And when I come back, I’ll feel a lot better and that’ll help me stay grounded in the moment as things continue to fly around in the kitchen. So hopefully this holiday season you can do something for yourself that feels really grounding. So before, as we kind of wrap up our episode today, is there anything that either of you would like to share about, maybe it’s something that you’re seeing in the media or, you know, kind of a trend that’s happening that you want to touch on with maybe a tool that folks can use to cope with that. And it could also be around the Thanksgiving table. You know, a lot can be said. around that environment as well, but I’d love to kind of leave us off with some tools for our listener.

Rachel: Yeah, I love that. Something that I’ve been seeing a lot lately that is interesting, like, you know, on social media, was seeing random videos about like winter arc, winter arc. I was like, I don’t know what that is. And I just kind of ignored it for a while until I was curious enough to be like, what, what do, what does this actually mean? Cause I had no idea. Is this a good thing? Is this a bad thing? But for those of you who do not know what a winter arc is, this thing that is all the craze right now is basically the opposite of what I know the three of us view the winter time as. But basically you use your time when you’re not seeing anyone to have your quote unquote glow up. know, whatever that is for you, usually something around weight loss, diet, culture, et cetera. and it just, really struck struck me because I really hold the philosophy that winter is a time to slow down, just like the nature around us. really love being in tune with the seasons and you know, everything is, is getting a little quieter, a little slower, a little softer, a little cozier. And I love that about the winter. And so the idea of using that time to like go hard and, and make a bunch of changes just feels like taking New Year’s resolutions and doing it even earlier. and it, it’s kind of depressing and frustrating. so I guess my, my tip related to winter arching is more just a gentle reminder that You don’t owe anyone a glow up at any point. And if you’re feeling extra sleepy and cozy and like you don’t want to do anything other than eat warm meals and cuddle in the winter, that’s totally normal because that’s what nature intends. And so there’s absolutely nothing wrong with. Slowing down in the winter. You don’t need to make some miraculous changes or, you know, change tons of things. Just rest. Rest is great. Rest is healthy. Rest is wonderful for us mentally and physically and most of us don’t get enough of it.

Julie: Yeah, well, we’ve done a few episodes on this topic. And if you all are long time listeners, you’ll remember Yelly, who used to also be a part of our team, who I just had. I know I was just actually emailing with Yelly. So she said hello, by the way. And it was something that we were all obsessed with because of the book, Wintering, which we can put a link in the show notes to those episodes and that. 

Julie: So if you need just more permission to go with the rhythm of nature and like all the other kind of like circular things that happen in our lives as humans, you know, just to go with the flow. Yes. I hate this so much. I hate the Winter Arc shit. That just, I hate it. I hate it so much here. my gosh. And I’m thinking about as dieticians, especially in the non-diet space, we talk a lot about patterns and trends. And I’m thinking a lot about how this holiday may feel different, not only because of the election, but because of what caused him to get re-elected the like energy behind that the the hate behind that is also going to promote more dieting, it’s going to promote more pursuit of an ideal. And so yeah, if you notice like Thanksgiving or any holidays that you’re celebrating, if they just notice they’re harder, it’s not that you’re doing it wrong. It’s like it’s just the world is maybe just even showing you more of its cards right now, you know. So

Julie: I would think about like wintering being even more important now than ever, like rest, hydrate, don’t skip any meals because there’s like so much work to be done, right? Like we need us to be alert and fed. Anyway, I’m getting into my like soapbox era thinking about all this, but I just think more than ever like community and eating enough and hydrating and resting is gonna be so important. But even with all of that, like, Do what you can and be gentle with yourself. Always, always my plea. Coleen, what about you? Any other last words? Yeah, I’ll just add to what each of you said. think you both are spot on. And I’ll say that again, my theme is kind of to not do harm. So as you consider your language around food, your language around your own body, just consider like what kind of harm you may be causing either to those around you in the language that you use or yourself.

Coleen: Because we know anything that moralizes weight or food behaviors or body shape or size has a way of causing harm. So, you know, if you’re someone at the table thinking like, if I say you look great, have you lost weight? Like, that can really be a painful reminder to folks that they’re constantly being looked at and they’re constantly being judged and objectified. And that’s something that doesn’t really feel and it doesn’t really feel helpful. you know, I think the same thing with, you know, I’m a mom now and my daughter will never hear me say, I’m being good, so I’m skipping the pie. She’ll never hear me say that because that really sends a powerful message to her that, you know, morality is somehow attached to body shape or size and food eating behaviors. And if I think that I’m good for avoiding dessert, then it’s only natural that she might think that she’s bad for enjoying her meal. And I never want her or anyone to feel that way around me. So I will be using my time around the Thanksgiving table this year to really enforce an in tune approach to eating and intuitive approach to eating and sharing with my daughter that food can bring so much joy and comfort and warmth and That’s really important for me because a way that I won’t do harm in the future is also by raising her. So yeah, I’ll leave my thoughts there.

Julie: I think that’s a great way to end. Thank you guys. I appreciate it. Enjoy your holidays.

Julie: So there you have it. I hope you got some new information or reminders to help you to navigate this holiday season. It’s probably gonna be extra complicated. And again, we hope you find the space, the permission and the gentleness you need to be able to navigate it in the way that you’re hoping. Rachel, Coleen and I will be back for another Diet Culture IRL in just a few weeks. We were planning it at the end of us chatting today. So I’m already looking forward to the discussion. Before I sign off for today, we would love it if you would hit subscribe or follow the show. And we look forward to being back in your ears next week for another episode of the Find Your Food Voice podcast. Bye for now.