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Julie: Hey there, welcome to episode 375 of the Find Your Food Voice podcast. I am your host, Julie Duffy Dillon. Thank you so much for joining us. And I am so excited to be back recording more regular episodes and especially looking forward to you listening to this episode because this is an episode where I am sitting down with Coleen Bremner and Rachel Popik who are two people that you don’t get to see and hear a lot from because they are helping me behind the scenes. I don’t know if you know this, but this independent podcast is not just me. There are many people behind the scenes. There’s also an audio engineer, hey, Toby, that helps us with our episodes. And like I said, Coleen and Rachel and I are getting back together. It’s been a long time. We haven’t had a chat like this since January and a lot has happened since then.

Julie: So we have a very fun episode with book updates, life updates, dating updates. And so I’m excited for you to hear this episode and I don’t know, just to get to know us a little bit more. And as I get to that episode, I wanna let you know what to expect from the podcast the next few months. We are back on like a regular schedule now that I am just about done editing the Find Your Free Voice book.

Julie: The book will be out in March of 2025. And I’m so excited. I think you’re really going to love it. I really do. And it’s just going to be a little longer before it is available to be read. But there are some updates that I’m going to share with you in this episode, like I said. And besides getting ready for the book, this podcast is going to be back on its weekly schedule. I’m going to have some bonus episodes, too, just because I have a lot to say.

Julie: And I’m gonna have a new segment called mini sessions. These are types of activities I would have done with clients when I was working one-on-one. They’re not meant to replace an actual real life session with a therapist or dietician. It’s just for education. But I also think they’re gonna be fun. They’re gonna be a new tool for you to put in your food voice toolbox, maybe to take to your therapist or dietician. So you will be seeing those every month along with letters from food and our letters to food and food writing back and all the other stuff that we have been doing every month since 2016. It’s been a long time and I’m happy to still be here. Anyway, enough rambling for me. We’re gonna get to my conversation with the dream team, Rachel, Coleen and I, after a very quick sponsor break.

Julie: Welcome back and I am so excited to get started. Rachel, Coleen, it’s so good to see your faces I haven’t seen and like talked to both you in so long. So let’s go ahead and get started. And Coleen, what’s up?

Coleen: Hello everyone, I’m back, we’re back. It’s so wonderful to be back.I cannot believe that we haven’t spoken as a dream team since January 9th. That literally blows my mind.

Julie: Are you gonna sing for us? It sounds like you’re gonna sing.

Coleen: We’re back! You know, I have to, I have to do something like that.

Rachel: That’s insane!

Julie: Mm -hmm. Yeah, that’s a long time. It’s been a lot. There’s been a lot since then.

Coleen: So much and it’s just so nice to be back in your ear dear listener so wonderful to be back we have so many life updates and as we were chatting in preparation for this we realized like this is going to be its own entire episode so we’ll have to touch base again with you all soon with some other fun and exciting things on the horizon. But for this episode, we thought we’d share some of what’s been going on in the past few months since you’ve heard from all of us together last. So I’m going to start. Surprise, surprise. Not so much of a surprise. I’m a new mom. And I love having little baby girl B in my life. She is incredible and it has been so fun learning how to be a mom and adding that piece to my identity. I will say the first two weeks like bringing her home from the hospital were maybe the hardest weeks of my life and I lived in West Africa for two years. Like I’ve done some pretty hard shit but nothing compares to figuring out how to be a new parent, how to navigate what my relationship now looks like with my partner, how to add this piece to my own identity that has completely shifted my identity, but everyone that looks at me kind of still sees my, you know, old Coleen, but I’m like not my old self. I look like my old self, but I internally am so, different. And it’s sometimes hard to navigate. Just because it’s like adding a whole nother hat to the hats that one wears. So I’m now wife, mother, worker bee, all of these different things. I’m just, yeah, I’m figuring out my own identity. The first two weeks were also really difficult because I ended up having an emergency C-section, which could probably be its own diet culture IRL We can chat about that in the future.

Coleen: but it was just a wild, time. if anyone is listening to this who has experienced, I don’t know, like I am very into hearing about other folks’ birth stories. And if you’re interested in sharing, like please reach out to us and I would be happy to read slash follow up and respond via email with my own and share. But it’s just, it was wild. And I will use the word traumatic. It was pretty traumatic. So I feel like I’m now just getting, you know, after therapy and talking to lots of folks about how it went versus how I thought it was gonna go. I feel definitely more open to chatting about it than I did in those first few months of becoming a new mom. But yeah, big life update from me and wanted to share with all of you and yeah.

Julie: So glad you did. Yeah, there’s no way to prepare for this kind of shift that you went through, because people can tell you, but until you actually live it, there’s really, it’s really hard. So we’re so glad to see you.

Coleen: very true. Thank you.

Rachel:  So glad to see you, so glad for you to be back and also just as your friend, it’s such a privilege to watch you blossom into your new role as mom. You’re phenomenal and it just, it warms my heart to watch you and baby B together.

Coleen: Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, Rachel, I just came back from a beach trip. So we just got to see each other like in person. And and Baby B was there on our first like annual beach trip. So it was really fun to have everyone together.

Julie: that’s so sweet. That’s so sweet. 

Rachel: It was really cute to watch her like to watch her experience like the beach and the ocean for the first time and like just see it like, know, yeah. And, you know, like you can see like babies, you know, they’re taking in so much information, like all the time and learning so much and just kind of watching Baby B like stare at the ocean with this kind of like look of like awe on her face and just try to imagine what it would be like to like see the ocean for the first time. It’s like just really cool.

Julie: Did you put her  little piggies in the ocean?

Coleen: yeah. yeah.

Julie: That’s so great. I love it. Well, so glad that things are getting smoother, guess, Coleen, as time is going on.

Coleen: Yes, definitely figuring things out and not to say, you know, every day is different, obviously, but definitely starting to feel like I’m getting my land legs a little bit more. yeah. And something that’s like,

Julie: Yes.Mm hmm. And it continue. Well, it will. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Well, yeah, if you need any insight into all that stuff, let me know. Happy to help as someone who’s been there.

Coleen: Yeah. Something that we were talking about a little bit at the beach this weekend was just how the narrative around people who identify as women caretakers versus people who identify as men caretakers, how the narrative around each of those is still very prevalent in society today. just someone made a comment like, Max is such a good dad. And a little piece of me was like, well, I’m also like a good parent, but it’s just, it’s like inherent, you know, that, that like people just are like, yeah, naturally, because you know, your mom, like you’re a good parent, but it’s so extra when it’s dad and like people comment about it. And it’s like, and we’re both like, yes, yes. It’s like, well, we’re both part of the RISMS. And so that’s been interesting to you just to hear kind of the narrative between

Julie: Right, right, right.

Rachel: Right. Right.

Julie: Yes, dad’s holding his child and they’re like, my gosh, he’s such a good dad.

Coleen: like, you know, our caretaking roles and how we’ve been, you know, talking about that behind closed doors. So fun stuff.

Rachel: Coleen, I’m curious. I’m curious because like you naturally are such a like, you know, born caretaker, like beyond just the fact that you were, you know, socialized and identify as being a woman. So like there’s the gendered aspect of it. You just like inherently like gravitate towards that role. I’m curious if that, I guess I’m trying to figure out how to ask this question. Like that layer added on those gender dynamics has made that kind of those gendered assumptions even more difficult or like kind of how your relationship to that is.

Coleen: That’s such a good question. Yeah, I think that what’s difficult for me and maybe this is because I’m a two, an Enneagram two, is that like, sometimes I just want to be acknowledged as well. And I have like, I have a lot of, I mean, the mom guilt is so real already. Like there was a day that I didn’t, I got my hair done and I was like, I’m going to do something for myself.

Coleen: I went and got my hair done, but I didn’t see Baby B until I got back and she was already in bed. And I felt so guilty. I was like, my gosh, I spent no time with her. Like I was gone all day at work and then like I got my hair done. So I didn’t see her and I felt like this immense guilt. And I asked myself, like, I wonder if like my partner would have felt this way as well, or like if this, if this is just like pressure I’m putting on myself. and so I think to answer your question, like it’s probably a good mix of the two for me. It’s probably like, I just naturally really, I want to do well at this job. It’s like my own pressure, like, and I think Rachel, you’re going to talk a little bit about perfectionism as well, but I feel this like sense of like, I want to be really good at this. And like, I really want it to be like, yes, I had the best mom, like, you know, as she grows up and talks to her friends and like, parenthood is not like that. There’s no checking the boxes. It’s just not like that. So I think it’s probably a combo of all of those things of society, but also my own pressure and, and yeah, external, like so many external comments, then the number of external comments I’ve had to just like, be like, interesting  that you say that or like unsolicited advice. I’m like, that’s interesting that you felt like good saying that to me. Interesting. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So

Julie: that you felt that was appropriate to comment on your body or the baby’s body. Yeah, yeah. I remember just doing a lot of, like I would never be like, thank you. acknowledging, but not encouraging, you know.

Coleen: yeah. I’ve also started like, why have you said, why did you say that? Or why did you, you know, like just to get, to get folks thinking more about like why they think that the way that they do, even if, you know, nothing comes of it for me. So kind of a big life update on my end, but just chugging along and figuring it out. And yeah, I’m. Thank you.

Julie: Yes, we’re excited for you and excited to like to unpack things along the way. I know it’s going to come up in diet culture IRLs. So yes. Well, Rachel, I know you brought up the perfectionism or Coleen brought up the perfectionism that you mentioned before. Shall we move to you? Are you ready?

Rachel: Sure, I’m ready. So I don’t know, I feel like so much has happened in the past eight months, but I guess my big life update is that my Stay Doughy brand –  is a brand that was named by our dear Coleen, our marketing genius, yeah, she was the one who came up with the name. It kind of came about because we were talking about, you know, like,cooking, but also like accepting the body you’re in. So it’s like Stay Doughy is like play on like cooking, right? Dough. But also like doughy, like a little extra, little extra roll of some, some fat and like just being okay with it. but I, it’s been a long time coming, but I officially like launched Stay Doughy as a like actual business out into the universe, put it out there. and which is very exciting, but it was

Coleen: Woot Woot!

Julie: I love it. So excited.

Rachel: very nerve -wracking and took a long time to get to the point where I was okay with putting something out there that wasn’t what I considered like perfect yet. Like I kept putting it off, putting off because I was like, it’s not quite right. And I finally just kind of like ripped the bandaid off and did it. And so that’s been really exciting. I am loving kind of creating these like safe diet free spaces for people to kind of reconnect with the joy of cooking and the pleasure of eating through these cooking classes, both like online and in person and kind of my one -on -one support offerings. But it has brought up a lot of challenges to my like type A perfectionist tendencies.

Julie: Yeah, it’ll bring it to light. Yeah.

Rachel: because I have a not great habit of quitting things that I’m not like perfect at right away. Like if I’m not an expert, I’m like, worth it. And so this has been a challenge to be like, it’s okay that my business isn’t an overnight roaring success, that I have hundreds of people clamoring to work with me immediately. Like that doesn’t mean it won’t be successful and I shouldn’t give it up, but it’s really, it’s really kind of like every day I have to grapple with like, is what I’m happy doing and I know it has value. And so I need to keep going with it, even though I’m have some uncertainty and, and yeah. So it’s been, it’s been a learning experience, but it’s been great.

Julie: Yeah. I think if you’ll talk to anybody who owns a business, they’ll say the same thing, you know, that of like, especially this like disappointment that things don’t just like overnight produce what you need to make it like sustainable living, that it takes a while and it does it brings up all that perfectionism goop. So yeah.

Rachel: Yeah. And it’s also difficult to, I don’t think I realized how challenging it would be to, because it’s not like a product I’m selling. I’m like selling myself and my services and like promoting myself is like not something that comes naturally to me. And it feels a little icky almost. And that’s like another thing that I’m working for.

Julie: Mm -hmm. It’s a service. Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And I also think about what you’re selling too is more than you the vehicle of the surfaces, you know, because you’re, you’re, selling an away for people to learn how to be around food and enjoy food and to nourish themselves. You know, there’s all these other parts to it as well. So, you know, and that is worth a million bucks. If I just say so myself.

Rachel: Thanks. I hope so.

Julie: Yes. Yes, you do fabulous work in the PCOS power community. I love that it’s like cooking shows you and just even like how you talk about. Yeah, like the the nourishing side of like food, you know how to like actually help yourself to be around food and have like different types of food and to learn and explore and be curious and play like that’s all like so fun. And there’s not many people who do that. Right. So Anyway, super excited about that. That is so fun.

Coleen: So exciting and hopefully it’s helpful to have like some professional hype people in your corner. You know, I think that I think that, you know, I think one of my strengths is just hyping. I think I do it for Julie and I do for Rachel is just like, I don’t know. Sometimes you just need someone in your corner and this goes for, you know, if you’re feeling like I’m not ready to take a step towards anything, like lean on your support system.

Rachel: It is. It is.

Coleen: I do the same thing with Rachel. like, I feel so out of my element with XYZ. And she’ll be like, you totally have this. It just helps to have those people who truly believe in you, believe in your person, but also your brand, depending on where you’re at in your journey. I was listening to a friend of mine actually has a podcast that’s called Love Yourself First. And she was talking about, her name is Tracy Hirsch. She was talking about how sometimes you just have to do things scared. She says, confidence, you’ve got to find courage first and confidence will follow. And I really just love that. So I thought I’d highlight that too here.

Rachel: I really love that.

Julie: Yes. Yeah, that’s so great. Well, I love that because I do think that people who do these things that we admire and we think they’re so like great from the get go, it’s really what they’re doing is they’re doing it scared. Like most people are not prepared and they’re just willing to do the scary thing. And I think for entrepreneurship too, there’s a lot that a person has to do before they have all their ducks in a row. You know, there’s a lot of like building as building the airplane as you’re flying kind of like metaphors happening whenever you do anything with business. So yeah, it’s terrifying, but also like so great to not have to work for someone else. So.

Coleen: Yes. And Rachel has had some like really incredible successes recently too, that I feel like she’s being really humble about. So I’m just gonna highlight some of those here. Like she’s led plenty of cooking classes that people have loved and raved about. So definitely check out her Instagram and TikTok at StayDoughy because they’re pretty incredible. And I learn from her every day. Like, I’m always like, I want to try that. I want to try this. So

Rachel: Thank you.

Julie: Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. The peanut butter and jelly smoothie. Is that what you make? So good. So good.

Rachel: it’s classic, yeah? It’s classic. I have it at least three times a week.

Coleen: So good.

Julie: Yes, I love that one so much. And you know, I’m not on Instagram, but I’m on TikTok and I have been enjoying your TikTok. So yes, keep bringing it.

Rachel: I’m trying, I’m working with it.

Coleen: I think that this is such a good segue into Julie’s life update with, you know, just finding courage and doing things scared. so Julie, why don’t you take it away?

Julie: Yes, that’s a great theme for all of us, right? Okay, so should we talk business or pleasure first? Like which one would be better to start with?

Coleen: Ooh, ooh. Let’s do business. Business first. Let’s do business. then mainly because I’m so excited about the pleasure part that I want to like leave it to the end.

Rachel: Yeah, let’s do business first.

Julie: Okay. So business of course, has to do with writing the book. So the Find Your Food Voice book manuscript finally got done in May. And I will be, I don’t know if I mentioned this on the podcast, Rachel, you’ll know if I mentioned it. Like, that I got the due date wrong. Did I mention that here?

Rachel: you didn’t mention that, no.

Julie: Okay, so let’s talk about perfectionism flying, like right in the face to prove that you’re not perfectionists are not, you know, going to get everything right. So when I started writing this manuscript back in August of 2023, I outlined every single month, like I basically had to figure out what days I didn’t have to worry about childcare, and which days I could devote to writing and I had like a certain number that I could write.

Julie: And I knew about how many words my book was going to be. So I just did the math and I was like, OK, I to write this many words each writing time. And around middle of April, I got an email from my other Rachel in my life, person who works for the publisher. She’s my developmental editor. But she’s like, just want to make sure you’re on track to be turning this in May 1st. And I was like. she must have this wrong. Because it’s May 31st. But I was like, let me just double check the contract to make sure. And no, I was wrong. So luckily, I was a little ahead of writing, but it basically meant I had to write a lot more than I was used to in two weeks to get it all the way done. And I got it done. and it ended up being really good because May as a mom of elementary school kids is just like the worst month. It’s just crazy how everything is just starting to like wind down. And there’s always like these last minute things you have to do. so I was able to be present basically in my kid’s life. But then in June, we started doing editing rounds. And this was not this was something I wasn’t really prepared for. Like, it’s basically like doing nothing. And then all of a sudden, I had to like turn around. editing really quickly within like three or four days, like going through, I don’t know, it’s like 80,000 words, three or four days and make big decisions. And then so we’ve done, I think three editing rounds this summer. And I have, I think the last one, possibly the last one starting next week. That’s why we’re recording this week. And then it’s due to the printer in September. So like it has to be almost done, right? So yeah, that has been really,

Rachel: my God. That’s so soon.

Julie: Yeah, so soon. it comes out in March. But now it’s, yeah, it’s almost done. I don’t know what my life is going to be like with not having that as a project to do. But one thing that I have realized from writing is that I really have enjoyed this process of writing. It’s been really enjoyable and it almost feels like an art to do, know, to write. So I’m really proud of the book. I can’t wait for the two of you to read it. And then everybody else listening to. Yeah. I’m so excited. well, I think you I think you’ll like it. And I am I’m really proud of it. But yeah, so that’s that’s the book update. That’s the business stuff. And let’s talk about the juicy pleasure. Yes. Yes.

Rachel: I’m so excited.

Coleen: So excited. I am just chomping at the bit. Can I ask you a follow -up to that also? Just wondering, because I feel like, I don’t know, sometimes I feel like we drop some valuable knowledge in these babies. So I wanted to ask, how did you tackle needing to pivot those deadlines? And when you found out, what did you do? Did you do anything mentally to prepare, brace yourself, or set aside time? Or did you just not have the time to do that? And you just were like, here we go.

Julie: A little bit of the latter there. I have a couple colleagues who are like, my also like a cheerleader like you there are my Enneagram twos in my life. I surround myself by many Enneagram twos for that reason. And one of them was like, because I was like, I don’t think I can do it. I can’t write that much. And my friend was like, no, Julie, you can do this. Like this, this is something you can do, you know, and like, The way I don’t remember all that she said, but she basically convinced me that, you know, get out of my own way and do it. And I had to drop some things obviously, because I think we had slated for some more podcast episodes for May and we had to just say, no, we’re not going to do them. Like I was in the middle of the series on that Washington Post article about anti -diet dieticians in the food industry in bed together. And so I had to basically like pause right in the middle of that. And yeah, just had a role with it. And yeah, I did it. part of what I think helped me too was just like, it was just for two weeks, basically. I had to just be this, you know, hardcore writer for two weeks and that’s it. I also told my kids, I was like, listen, unless you know, you’re bleeding or you’ve lost an appendage, pretty much don’t bother me. I love you. I will have food available, but you know, but I also have kids, my youngest is like almost 12. So like, you know, they, can do a lot of things themselves. So yeah, so that, that’s how I did that. Quite an experience. I don’t recommend that way to end, but it worked out. Well, thank you. I’m glad you believe in me. I’m glad.

Coleen: You’re so rad. I think that’s awesome.

Julie: Heck yeah, I do. Okay, now the personal life update. Now the pleasure. Right, right, right.

Rachel: Not that the book wasn’t exciting, but the personal exciting.

Julie: Yes, well, the book was exciting, but it also was like a really fun time to write something. And you know, I was thinking about this. know January is when we all met before, but then like the dream team chat from like the beginning of the fall last year is when I told everyone I was getting divorced. And then the state of North Carolina, you have to be separated for a year before you can like file. And my ex and I, had talked about divorce about six months before we actually separated because we wanted to wait for the end of the school year. So I’m telling you all this because we had pretty much logistically ended our relationship for a long time before we separated. And then as our like parenting schedule started to change, At first, when I was home by myself, I was just like, my God, I’m home by myself. This is awesome. I don’t know, that may be surprising to some people, but I found it quite fun to be home by myself. And after about three or four months, I was like, huh, I think I want to hang out with somebody. And I had lots of friends that I would be hanging out with during these times where I wasn’t parenting. But I basically was like, I think I’m ready to date. That was weird because do y ‘all remember Y2K? Do you remember like where you were when it went from 1999 to 2000? I know y ‘all were young. Well, that was the last time I was single. like that was like, yeah, that was when I dated last was like, because I met my ex in January of 2000. like, so the thought of dating at like 48, I was like, is anybody going to want to date me like this old lady, you know, and, also, like, I don’t dye my hair, I’m not going to dye it. I don’t do, like Botox or anything. And not that I judge anybody else who does those things, but just for me, I’m not doing those things. And I’m like, I don’t know if I’m going to find anybody who actually wants to date me. And it was it was a really weird kind of experience, but also like, I don’t know, it’s like, I think I want to see what happens. I was really curious. So I listened to a few podcasts, of course. don’t know if you all have, I think her name is Lily Womble on your radar, but her podcast is Date Brazen. And she’s like this feminist dating coach person. And she has a new book out called Thank You More, Please. And so I listened to a lot of her podcasts and it was all about like really just like if you’re wanting to date or to do the apps to really focus on what you want. Don’t just date people just because they match with you. Don’t back down on any values. Be all in. And I was like, that’s the only way I’m going to do this, because I’m really enjoying my time alone. So my piece is really great. So I don’t want to date somebody who is going to compromise how great life is right now. I found an app that was for parents, but that didn’t go very well. I still don’t think it had a lot of options. And again, I live in this kind of small town, so it’s not a plethora of single people over the age of 45. So I eventually joined Hinge. And love it or hate it, it was at first pretty weird, because at first I did the free version. I, for me, dating someone politically who is like not aligned with me, either someone who is conservative or like a political, I just found to be not an option. And with some of these apps, you know, you all did app. So like, I know, you know, stuff, but for people in my age group to actually, like screen out for people, had to like, use the paid version. So

Julie: I started to do all these different things that I was like, okay, I’m not willing to compromise this, this and this. And I found very few options. And then I got worried. And one of my friends, she did her dissertation on dating apps and relationships. And she basically was, I know. So I was like, Kate, what am I doing wrong? And she’s like, no, Julie, you’re not doing it wrong. She’s like, you need to be even more detailed.

Julie: Like just keep it as detailed as you can. And if the listener is curious, like what I was like saying I wanted, I basically didn’t want someone that much younger than me. And I wanted someone that politically was liberal who wasn’t religious. And I also wanted someone with children, someone who understand what it was like to actually be a parent. I have this like pie in the sky idea of the future of like a big family getting together, you know, and now blended kind of family is what I was picturing. So, you know, after a few months, I had been like talking to a number of people, but they just, as I would talk to some people, they just never really clicked. And then eventually I started talking to one particular guy and he checked all the boxes and he was very engaging and very like funny and I know some of the men on the apps they would like go right to like sexual stuff and I was like wait buddy too soon too soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah so so this guy was not like that. And he lives about an hour away from me. So it also was kind of complicated because he wasn’t close but This person was my first actual in -person date, and that was in December. So we are still dating, and he’s real nice and cute.

Coleen: Eeek! I wish you all could see Julie’s face right now. I really do. I love it.

Rachel:I know.

Julie: Mm, he is so sweet. He and you know, talking about like, parenting, like he was the primary caregiver of his kids when they were little. So yeah, it’s been really nice to date a guy who has different like experiences in that way. He also speaks another language. He’s from another country like there’s just like a lot of differences that have been new to me, but also been really like, I don’t know, I feel like a sense of like, I’m growing from this relationship in many different ways. So, so yes, it’s been fun. And people always want to know if my kids have met him yet. And they have not because I’m waiting until I’m actually divorced for that to happen. Because again, state of North Carolina, we have to wait a really long time. But, but yeah, he’s been really great. We went on a vacation together a few weeks ago and went to Oaxaca, Mexico and basically had the most amazing food I’ve ever had in my life. I was sending texts to Rachel. I was like, wait, do you hear about this food? It’s so good. And they had like we were there during a specific type of festival. So they had even more from different regions in this one particular area that we were in. And they also had like a mezcal.

Rachel: Yay!

Coleen: Yay.

Julie: festival where it was like, pay $4 and you got to have like all you can drink mezcal tasting. I know. It was really great. We had a really good time. Yeah, it was great. Yeah. And a friend of mine before the trip said that 50 % of couples break up after their first vacation together because like you really get to see like differences.

Coleen: Whoa. So y ‘all had a really good time that day.

Julie: So we were laughing about that. like, we made it through the first trip. but yeah, we’re taking it slow and also really enjoying each other. It’s, unfortunately there’s like a, I say unfortunately, but there’s also some fortunate sides of this, but there’s only so many times we can see each other because we parent our children a good amount of our time and we live an hour apart. And so, you know we can’t see each other all the time. But that also has allowed for, I think, a nice kind of like progression where I am like, you know, still have my other life and still get to have my time alone and things like that. so yeah, fun stuff.

Coleen: Gosh, it’s so fun. I also love that you shared that with us and like with our listeners and I just think it’s very, cool. I know we’re like coming up on time here, but I am curious. You mentioned this fear of like, will anyone want me? And I think that’s something our listener definitely can relate to. I know I can even with, you know, just finding new friendships and things like that. It’s like it’s inherent in all of us. I feel like.

Rachel: So exciting!

Julie: I know. I know. Thank you. Thank you.

Coleen: I think a lot of us can relate to that. How did you combat that fear?

Julie: you know, I do have this like this part of my personality that’s kind of like, if I really want something, I’ll just do it even if I’m scared. I think that’s why I like being an entrepreneur. And so that just over just like it was an override in a way. And again, I was like, I really want to try dating. So like, if it sucks, if no one wants me, then I’ll go back to what I like this life on my own, which is pretty fabulous, you And, and, know, there’s some parts too, like I wanted to date someone who didn’t like drink a lot or like do drugs and stuff like that. Like I was like, I kind of don’t want it in my life anymore. And that was another side that I was like, am I going to be able to find somebody who wants to date outside of using substances and stuff? And so yes, it was all yes. Like if you’re almost 50 or older, yes. people still want to date you. If you have wrinkles and gray hair, yes, people still want to date you. They still want to like hook up with you. Like there’s still that like, still that happening. And I think when you’re in like a monogamous relationship for decades, it can feel like that’s never going to be an option again. But yeah, I’m living, I live to tell. Yes. Yes, they do.

Coleen: I love that. I love that. And I think it’s important to like, again, it’s these narratives that society tells us, right, that like permeate into some of those like fear points for us. And it’s like, okay, just because we don’t see in media that like, people are finding love in their 60s and 70s, like 80s doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Like, also people are having sex when they’re in their 60s, 70s and 80s. Like these are these are like totally normal things and we just don’t see it or hear about it. So it feels like it’s not happening, but it totally is. And I love that so much.

Julie: Yes. You know, I didn’t mention this, but like I do have like a friend and a mentor who’s a dietitian who is in her sixties. Her name is Deb Benfield and she’s been on the podcast many times and she talks a lot about aging and body liberation and she’s writing a book about that actually right now. And so she’s someone I talk to. I was like, help me. She’s like, don’t worry, Julie. Like people will still want to have sex with you. Like it’s, it’s all right. Like, that’s all I need. Thanks, Deb. I just need to make sure that, you know. Yeah. And it’s been really great to see how, yeah, like the societal rules that we’re taught, again, are not the truth, you know? And so, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah.

Coleen: Yeah, truthful. Totally. Wow. What? This episode packed a punch, y ‘all. Like, I’m like excited to listen back to it. So, yeah, I’m so glad we got to chat, catch up, and I’m very excited for our next site, Culture IRL, with the three of us to kind of unpack some things that we’ve been seeing over the past few months. So definitely stay tuned.

Julie: Mm hmm. Yes. And if you listener have some like IRL like experiences with diet culture that you would like to hear us unpack, let us know. Shoot us an email info at JulieDillonRD .com and we would love to unpack it. All right. Well, thanks, y ‘all.

Coleen: Thanks! Bye!

Julie: So there you have it. I hope you enjoyed this dream team chat as much as the three of us enjoyed just catching up and hearing about all the excitement going on in each other’s life. And we would love for you to stay in touch. And there’s many ways for you to do that. You can push subscribe. And if you’re pushing subscribe, if you have a few extra seconds, literally just seconds to leave us a five -star review, that would be.

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