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Julie: Hey there, welcome to episode 367 of the Find Your Food Voice podcast. I am Julie Duffy Dillon, registered dietitian and host. Welcome to our summer mini sode series, Fellow Voice Finder. No music or editing, we’re just creating content that we’re gravitating toward while in the summer chaos and fun. So today begins the three -part series all on the almond mom.

Julie: But before we begin, thank you so much for your comments and commentary on the food noise series. I want to communicate some of those with you. Those of you who have been naming diet culture and working toward it, rejecting it and mending your complicated relationship with food, will you let me know in your emails that you’ve been doing this work for a while, for years, and you said the food noise volume is very loud when you also feel the pull of dieting is also loud. It was very clear to you. And then at the same time, I got emails from those of you who are newer to rejecting diets and don’t have quite enough respite yet. That’s what I was gathering from your emails that you are newer to this. And I want you to know that you may find food noise is still really hard, but keep in mind what people who are before you are saying that they do eventually feel the respite. They definitely have.

Julie: I also got emails from those of you who are newer to rejecting diets. Maybe you just heard about intuitive eating or you’re recovering from an eating disorder, or it’s something that you have tried and attempted to, but feel like you keep failing and have not gone through a period where you have felt fully recovered. And those of you who are newer to this experience, let me know that food noise is a constant and that phrase really captures what you’re feeling. I wanted to let you know what folks who are a little bit ahead of you in this kind of complicated recovery experience, what they’re experiencing, because I want you to keep going. It probably is just not enough time yet. And those, I don’t know how to say this.

Julie: Today begins the three part series all on the Almond Mom. But before we get to that series, I want to begin by thanking you for your comments and really your commentary on how you experienced food noise after listening or watching what I had to say. I want to communicate some of the things that people told me to you. And in particular, there were many people who sent me emails or were in my DMs who said, that they find food noise is something that they experience as a co -occurrence when they start to diet again. And these are folks who have been repairing their relationship with food for many years, have been rejecting diet culture and naming it, and probably have supports around them. And again, have nutritionally gone through some sort of rehabilitation where their body and their brain have been fed.

Julie: And of course it took them longer than they were hoping, longer than they were expecting. But now the food noise is kind of the cue to let them know, I’m being triggered to diet again. On the flip side, I also got communication from those of you who are newer to this experience, newer to rejecting diets, maybe just learned about things like intuitive eating or have felt like you just can’t keep dieting because you’re just so depressed about food.

Julie: And the food noise, like that phrase food noise, you said captures your experience exactly. And it’s so loud, it’s debilitating, and it’s keeping you from being able to live your life. Sending you so much compassion. And also, I want you to know that there are people who have gone through this process before you. Those first folks that I was talking about, where eventually when your body has recovered, and it doesn’t matter what size you are you probably need more time to recover. It’s so hard to predict, but you will need time to recover. And once that happens, the food noise will become something that is this gentle reminder that you’re not eating enough or that diet culture is again causing havoc in your life. So we are rooting for you. There is another way you can recover your relationship with food too.

Julie: All right, so let’s get to this episode all about the almond mom. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. If you’re hungry, you’re probably just thirsty. Don’t eat after whatever. What the hell is this bullshit, right? These are all the sayings we’ve heard. And many of you have told me you were taught these diet mantras from your mom and mom. I wanna go through the top five reasons why all the moms are a problem. But let’s talk about the term almond mom. I had seen it on TikTok this last year or two, but I wasn’t sure how it actually originated. And what I found is the term stemmed from a clip of Yolanda Hadid from Real Housewives fame, the mother of course of Gigi Hadid, the famous American model who told Gigi to only eat a few almonds and to chew them very, very well. And Gigi had just told her mom that she was feeling weak after eating like half an almond. I laugh, but it’s also like, I know this is something that so many of you are experiencing in your relationship with your main caregiver. But after this happened on Housewives, this became a TikTok trend. So I recognize an almond mom as a parent or caregiver that is consumed by the diet trap. A diet trap is a belief system that says if someone is dieting, they are fixing their issues, they’re promoting health, improving their life, and will be more popular or maybe even safer in the world. This is a trap that the diet industry tries to suck us all in and many alma moms or caregivers will pull us with them because they believe it will protect us. It also, and I think this is key, it is also a projection of their own fears for themselves.

Julie: So there are five reasons that I have picked up along the way why all the moms, they’re an issue. And number one, it teaches someone that you can’t trust your hunger and fullness. And when you teach someone they can’t trust their hunger and fullness, this is not only something that complicates someone’s relationship with their food, it also teaches them to not trust their intuition. And having our intuition is something that of course that is so important as we’re navigating life. to be able to trust ourselves and our fears. And trusting hunger and fullness is one of those basic ways that we can teach people that we’re helping to take care of that they have these cues for a reason. Number two, it also teaches disordered eating. Not everyone who diets gets an eating disorder, yet everyone with an eating disorder has dieted. And teaching kids these diet mantras is something that basically is teaching them how to diet. and thus teaching disorder eating. Number three, it teaches that certain bodies are better than others. Yeah, that’s how we teach how certain bodies are more valuable and that leads to dehumanizing certain bodies and dehumanizing certain bodies. Maybe you watch the news and you’ve seen when they put the black line over someone’s eyes or just show the waist down, that is dehumanizing. and dehumanization of bodies is a step away from violence. And so, yeah, almond moms are teaching that we need to encourage this and continue to encourage that certain bodies are better than others. And number four, it teaches that one can and should control their body to attain that status. And I hope you know that not everyone can control their body shape. You know, there are some people that can eat less, or move their body more or do both and it changes their body. Some people go and meditate and it changes their body. Some people go on GLP -1s and that changes their body, but it doesn’t happen for everyone. And also we shouldn’t like, everyone.

Julie:  And just because some people can control their body by certain behaviors, it doesn’t mean that we all should. Certainly behaviors to change bodies for many people leads to a lot of unhealthy things and also really fucks with their relationship with food. Something that is also a part of our health. All right, and number five, it teaches that one can and should control their body for other people’s enjoyment.

Julie: Do we really need to make our body look a certain way for the male gaze? Is that what we really should be doing when all of this other shit is happening in the world? Should we really be focusing on changing our body just so other people think we look good? I hope we can really sit with that and realize how much energy we’re spending on making our body look a certain way, just so other people either feel an attraction to us or comfortable around us. That is bullshit.

Julie: So if you’re an almond mom or you had one, check out part two and three in this series, but keep in mind, if you want to mend, whether again, you are an almond mom or you had one, you will need lots of self -compassion and time to repair your complicated history of food. If you can’t do it for you, do it for the people you influence in your life. All right, this concludes episode 367 of the Find Your Food Voice podcast. Thank you for joining me and I will be dropping part two in the almond Mom series shortly.