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Julie: It’s time to name the neglect from typical food advice. Welcome to the Find Your Food Voice podcast, hosted by me, Julie Duffy Dillon. I’m a registered dietitian with 20 years of experience partnering with folks just like you on their food peace journey. What have we learned? Well, cookie cutter approaches exclude too many people, and you don’t need to be fixed. It’s not you. It’s not me. It’s all of us. Only together we can start a movement and fix diet culture. And we will. Let’s begin with now.

Rachel: Hello and welcome to our second minisode of the wintering season, I’m Rachel Popik, anti-diet chef, and part of the Find Your Food Voice team and I’m going to be your host for this episode. When thinking about what I wanted to talk about today, I started reflecting on my relationship to food during the holiday season – particularly all the baking I do during the winter months. It’s a topic that I thought might resonate with many listeners so sit back, grab a warm beverage, and let’s jump in. 

Rachel: These days, one of the best parts about the holiday season is the time I spend with family and friends baking holiday cookies. We usually make 5-7 types of cookies, some classic for us, like my favorite chewy ginger cookies, peppermint brownie cookies, and peanut butter blossoms, and usually try some new recipes as well. Last year we made these gochujang caramel cookies from Eric Kim at NYT and oh my gosh, they were surprising and delicious! We always make enough cookies to give away to everyone we know, and to obviously enjoy ourselves too. Cookie days are an all day marathon of baking, laughter, music, and celebration, but that wasn’t always the case. 

Rachel: I grew up in a foodie family, cooking and food was and is our language – but there were always those tricky diet culture undertones. Looking back on baking days, I don’t remember that same joy I feel these days. Instead I remember feeling stress, anguish, and guilt. There would always be comments around how much butter and sugar were being used (uh duh! we’re making cookies!) and how we would need to quote unquote make up for the calories consumed eating the cookies. I remember sneaking into the kitchen when everyone else was in another room to shovel cookies in my mouth, knowing that it was the only time I could eat them before it became unacceptable again. I look back on that version of myself and feel so much sadness for her. 

Rachel: I’m wondering if this resonates for any listeners? Do you feel conflicted about participating in baking traditions with family or friends? If so, here are some tips and reminders for you while you’re baking. Not all of these will necessarily resonate with all of you, but these are things that really helped me as I was healing from a lifetime of dieting, while learning to love baking again. 

Rachel: First, and most importantly for me, is to remember to eat meals and drink plenty of water while you’re baking. You don’t need to “save up” calories for the cookies you’ll eat, and it’s important to still take care of your basic needs – which helps your mental health too! 

Rachel: Secondly, give yourself permission to eat as many cookies as you want! Remember, intuitive eating also includes eating for pleasure and joy, and if they make you happy, there is nothing wrong with eating many, many cookies, and no you do not need to atone for it later. Rachel: Which leads me to number three, there is no amount of butter, sugar, or chocolate that you consume that means you need to make up for what you ate later – you do not need to spend extra time exercising, or restrict eating the next day. 

Rachel: And lastly, try and set boundaries with those you are baking with. This one was the hardest one for me, but being in the long run, probably was the most helpful for me.  I’ve talked about this on the podcast before but boundaries can be set in person or via text ahead of time, if that feels safer. Practice saying things like “I don’t appreciate you commenting on my body” or if you’re feeling a little sassy , and channeling Coleen, you can ask, “Why do you think it’s okay for you to say things like that to me?”. Let people know that you don’t want to talk about diets or the calorie content of cookies, and that you will walk away or abruptly change the topic if they do. Setting boundaries and naming the consequences for not respecting them was super empowering for me, and getting to the point where I was able to voice my lack of tolerance for diet talk, even when those boundaries aren’t always respected, gave me the confidence that I needed to be able to step out of the room if diet talk crept into conversation. Before that, I always felt obligated to sit there even if I felt uncomfortable. And even if you don’t feel like you can set explicit boundaries, know that you can always briefly step away, walk out of the room, or do some quick grounding exercises to help you in a particularly upsetting moment. 

Rachel: And so there you have it, those are my tips and reminders for you as you do any holiday baking, but honestly do what feels really good for you like, it doesn’t have to be any of those things.  We, the Find Your Food Voice team, just really want you to lean into joy and enjoyment around food this holiday season. So I hope you enjoyed this minisode. Please feel free to follow me on Instagram and TikTok at @StayDoughy and I look forward to connecting with you on the interweb. Have a lovely holiday season and see you in the New Year.