Listeners’ Letter

Dear food,

First and foremost, I love you. I love body liberation. Sometimes I even love my fat body. I’m a parent, a therapist, and a fat human who fawns at the prospect of a bright and shiny future where we don’t all struggle with diet culture and the lies that it tells about you, food. It’s been at least five years. I’ve read the books, I’ve had the eating disorder training, I’ve been in therapy. However, I still don’t know how to respond when I hear a fellow parents say that their six year old has never been allowed to have a pop tart.

I can observe my thoughts. Well, damn, my kid loves pop tarts. Do they think sugar is bad? Is this kid going to end up with an eating disorder? Have they even tried the s’mores ones? Do they know how good they are? Do they think I’m a bad mom because I let my kid eat pop tarts? What if they think pop tarts are the reason I’m fat? Is this kid allowed to have toaster strudel? Are pop tarts too low class for them? You can see that a pop tart gets very complicated very quickly.

I mostly don’t respond when I’m coming from my best self. I can see that this parent is in many ways normal. They’re swimming in diet culture because we all are. I know firsthand that doctors can scrutinize the bodies of both kids and adults and that parents can face intense judgment for food choices they make for their families. Other times, the need for body liberation and an end to diet culture just feels so urgent, and it’s harder to be compassionate and calm. Like, just let your kid have a fucking pop tart, lady.

Sincerely, Jessie.