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Julie Duffy Dillon (00:00)

Welcome to episode 425 of the Find Your Food Voice podcast.

are featuring a dear food letter from someone who is going bananas over the question, mom, what’s for dinner? And today’s guest, Heidi Schuster helps us unpack it. Let’s get to it.

Hey there, welcome to this episode of Find Your Food Voice. I am Julie Duffy Dillon, your host and registered dietitian. I am also someone who feels a bit bananas whenever my kids ask, mom, what’s for dinner? And today’s episode features a letter from someone who’s in a season of parenting where she’s having to do a lot of the food prep and taking care of food decisions. one thing I can tell you as a dietitian,

One of the hardest parts of being a dietician is talking about food all day long. And especially when I was seeing clients talking about their relationship with food and taking care of their food, grocery lists and all that. And then going home and doing the same thing for my family and myself. By the time it got to me, I felt exhausted. So if you can relate to this, whether it’s now or in the future or you’ve already experienced that, Heidi Schuster and I, we dig deep and to help your relationship with food,

as you are taking care of other people in your life.

Before we get to Food’s Letter and I introduce you to Heidi, I wanna mention a few things. Namely, have you joined me yet over on Substack? I ask this because one of the cool parts of subscribing to my Substack, whether you’re a free or paid subscriber, you get access to these episodes without dynamic ads. So if you would like to have an ad-free experience, I love when I have that myself on my podcast.

you can join me over there on Substack. It’s findyourfoodvoice.substack.com. And again, free subscribers get access to that. If you have the means to be a paid subscriber, you also get access to monthly deep dives into PCOS related topics. This month was a doozy. I had been researching for I think the last six weeks all on GLP-1s and PCOS. And it turned out to this being this mega essay.

⁓ I had to actually cut a lot out of it because it was too big for Substack. So check out this ⁓ essay. Even if you are a free subscriber, there’s a lot of the essay that you do get access to. But by being a paid subscriber, it is something that helps me to be able to continue to podcast and write as my full-time job, support my family, and also help me pay my team a living wage as they help me put together all the things that go into making the Find Your Food Voice podcast.

And while you’re at it, if you do have a complicated relationship with food and you want more tools, the Find Your Food Voice book is available for purchase anywhere books are sold. And this is a book that I basically sat down and made a list of all the things, all the tools, all the strategies, all the things I do with clients when I would meet with them one-on-one. And usually this would take over a year or two. I put that all in the book. And for $20, you get everything that I would do with clients.

in a two year time period. This book, Find Your Food Voice, also includes listener letters, just like today’s episode. And I love how it brings the voice of different people with different lived experience and their complicated relationship with food. So I have a link below to get to the book, but again, you can get it anywhere books are sold. So one more thing I’m gonna mention is this episode’s letter is an archived letter.

These are letters that have been really meaningful. So you may remember it. If you’ve been listening to the podcast sometime over the last 10 years, you may have heard this letter before, but I pulled it out because it was very special and I wanted to revisit it. And so I’m excited for you to hear this episode’s letter. But before we do, a quick word from our sponsor.

Julie Duffy Dillon (04:01)

Dear food, the worst question my children can ask me is, what’s for dinner? It’s a daily assault on my desire to avoid thinking about you all together. For me to answer my children’s question, I need to have thought about you. What would be tasty? What my children would like? What will nourish them?

And then when I have thought about you, I then have to prepare you. I find this utterly overwhelming and exhausting down to my bones. Did you notice I don’t ask myself, what would I like to eat? I don’t know the answer to that question.

I am so divorced from you that I don’t know what I want when I feel hungry. And food, so you know, I have felt hungry for as long as I can remember. Here’s what I do know about you food. I know that it’s not my fault I am fat and it’s not your fault either. I just feel like we got off on the wrong foot. My mom was scared of you food and did the things women do to keep you at bay. She did the best she could with what she had, but it’s left its mark.

I watched and I felt constrained and angry. So I very angrily and defiantly ate what I wanted, but eating because you’re angry doesn’t lead to food peace either.

I talk about you so positively with my kids and I put on such a cheerful food neutral voice at dinner and lunch and breakfast and snacks and all the times that we seem to talk about food. My children will never ever know that you and I don’t really get on. That is a promise. But truthfully, I want to not think about you. You make me so anxious and demoralized. Do you think you and I might able to make peace? Sincerely,

tired caretaker. All right, dear voice finder, before we get to chat with Heidi, I want to fill you in a little bit about her background. She’s a nutrition and eating disorder specialist and somatic experiencing practitioner who helps people affected by trauma heal food and body concerns. Heidi shares ideas from her 30 years of clinical work, as well as personal stories about recovery, parenting and embodiment in her newsletter, Nourishing Words.

She’s the author of the award-winning books, Nourish, How to Heal Your Relationship with Food, Body and Self, and Nurture, How to Raise Kids Who Love Food, Their Body and Themselves. Heidi has become a dear friend over the last few years, and I look forward to this conversation and excited that you get a chance to hear it as well. We’re gonna take a very quick sponsor break and we’ll be right back with the interview with Heidi Schuster.

Julie Duffy Dillon (06:40)

Hey, Heidi. How are you?

Heidi Schauster (06:42)

Great to be here with you.

Julie Duffy Dillon (06:44)

I’m so excited to chat. I’m so

excited to connect this way. And did you get a chance to read the letter? Awesome. Thank you. I’m so excited to unpack tired caretakers letter because while I don’t share some of the lived experience, like the experience that I’ve had as a caretaker, I can relate so much to it. ⁓ So let’s think big picture first off.

Heidi Schauster (06:51)

I did.

Mm-hmm.

Julie Duffy Dillon (07:12)

What is your general impression, Heidi? I’m like, what this person is experiencing, what’s going on?

Heidi Schauster (07:18)

Well, can we call her TC for ease? ⁓

Julie Duffy Dillon (07:21)

Yeah, yeah, it will save

a couple seconds on the recording time.

Heidi Schauster (07:26)

Okay. ⁓

So I was thinking, and you you may have other ideas too, but I was thinking, Julie, that TC is like in that pendulum swaying that so common where there’s a restrictive mindset and some trouble with overeating on the other side of that pendulum. So it sounds like, like this, you know,

Julie Duffy Dillon (07:39)

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Heidi Schauster (07:55)

She says, I feel hungry for as long as I can remember. And she also talks about eating angrily and defiantly in her history and still doing that. So it feels like there’s this seesaw between underfeeding and overfeeding that is so common with our clients, correct?

Julie Duffy Dillon (08:04)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah,

yeah, agreed. Yeah, and the thing that when I was reading that, I kind of was thinking about it from a metaphorical standpoint, but maybe it also was literal. like, I got this picture of like, the typical like misogyny that we all those of us who are like socialized as girls and women, like we’re just taught to deny everything, right? Deny our needs, deny pleasure, put everybody else’s before ours. And that’s what I was thinking about is like, no wonder you’re starving.

Like you haven’t been able to like meet anything. I don’t know if the, you connected like that at all too.

Heidi Schauster (08:44)

Ready.

Absolutely, like this idea of, know, I’m thinking so much about my children and their preferences and I have no idea even what I want to eat. ⁓ I’m like really working hard to hide my challenges with food or my kids. ⁓ And, you know, what did she say? I’m looking at the words, utterly overwhelming and exhausting down to my bones, which like, we all know what that feels like.

Julie Duffy Dillon (09:06)

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Heidi Schauster (09:20)

⁓ when

we’re working with little ones all the time, but I was just like, I was thinking to myself like, ⁓ you don’t have to, you don’t have to feel that way. Like you don’t have to do it all. Like I think there’s this idea that, you know, if we’re, ⁓ you know, if we are someone who identifies as a woman, that we have to do it all. We have to cook everything from scratch. We have to.

Julie Duffy Dillon (09:32)

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Heidi Schauster (09:47)

put the perfect meals together for our children. And I don’t believe that to be true. The important thing is that we sit down and create a positive experience around food with them. It doesn’t have to be special. It doesn’t have to be time consuming. We can even delegate it out. A lot of my busy clients have really benefited from meal delivery services ⁓ because it’s cheaper than takeout and it

Julie Duffy Dillon (10:01)

Right?

Yes.

Heidi Schauster (10:15)

helps when they just don’t enjoy cooking and they don’t have time for it. So I just, yeah, I think you’re right. There’s this idea that, you know, if we’re going to be the proper mother, then we do it all and we’re supposed to be martyrs and exhausted. you know, that’s just not true.

Julie Duffy Dillon (10:19)

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Mm hmm. Yes,

the proper mother. my gosh, that word proper. Yeah. And, know, the thing for me reading it, I’m one of those folks who has never really enjoyed cooking. It’s just not, there’s other like, tasks related to taking care of my kids that I kind of enjoy. Like this may sound weird, but like, I don’t mind like folding laundry, doing laundry or cleaning the dishes. Like, that’s great. I like that.

Heidi Schauster (10:45)

Thank you.

Julie Duffy Dillon (11:00)

But cooking, no, it’s just not something I’ve ever enjoyed. And it’s weird that I even became a dietician, but here I am. But the thing that I hear from this letter writer that I was excited about, and I don’t mean that in like, I don’t know, not some mean way, but honestly, I think this person’s mending, but I hope they can do that for themselves. It’s like, they can look back and see how…

their mother was so worried about the choices, like the food choices and getting everything perfect, like that properness that you’re describing and like realizing TC being like, okay, I realize I really just needed the connection with my mom, not the like food police or someone directing every bite. And so I wanna change it for my kids, but like, that’s the part that I’m like, ⁓ that’s gonna be exhausting. And you said something earlier that I,

wrote down, but I didn’t say anything because we just kept talking. But you mentioned about how TC has to like hide this. And that’s another part of like, that’s like, that’s got to be so taxing, like to keep it hidden from your kids. And you know, something that you write a lot about is like how families can take care of each other. And like, how I know something you explored in your second book. And like, is there something that like, if someone’s in a place where they’re like,

either new to recovery or have recovered for a long time and they’re taking care of kids. How do you recommend people do that? Do they keep it hidden from their family? Do they share it? Or I don’t know, you have an opinion in that area?

Heidi Schauster (12:43)

Well, that’s a good question. I think honestly, our kids do not want us to be perfect. Because wow, that’s so hard to live up to. Who wants to have a perfect parent? ⁓ So it’s OK that we are not doing it perfectly or that we have struggles. It’s OK to let our kids know in an age-appropriate way that sometimes food is hard for us. It’s sometimes hard for us to get it together and put it together.

Julie Duffy Dillon (12:44)

I know it’s a big one.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Heidi Schauster (13:13)

⁓ And it’s also wonderful if families can join together in that process. I don’t know how young TC’s children are, but ⁓ as soon as possible involving them in the food procurement at the store, the food preparation, all of that, ⁓ it might actually be more pleasant for everyone. And so I don’t…

Julie Duffy Dillon (13:24)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Heidi Schauster (13:40)

I don’t think hiding that there’s challenges there is particularly useful. mean, obviously we’re not gonna talk a ton about that, but I think it’s a lot of effort to sort of hide our feelings. I don’t believe in that, but I do think that if TC is in recovery and doing their work, I would, if they don’t already have an EDRD,

Julie Duffy Dillon (13:45)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I agree.

Heidi Schauster (14:10)

who they’re working with to support them in nourishing themselves. Well, obviously it would be nice for them to get out of this like push-pull pendulum, know, unpeaceful place with food. And so if they’re doing their own work, that’s going to spill over into their relationship with their kids. ⁓ And I think like, it’s not possible to really hide struggles from kids because as they get older,

Julie Duffy Dillon (14:11)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Heidi Schauster (14:40)

they notice things, like they notice more than you think. ⁓

Julie Duffy Dillon (14:41)

They figure it out. Yes. Now that my

kids are starting to be older, yes. They are like, here’s the mirror, We like, no, yeah. And ⁓ the thing that I can see being really helpful working with a dietician who like understands eating disorders, like, cause I think it is a complex issue. We know there’s some genetic connections to eating disorders and also like societal, like,

Heidi Schauster (14:49)

Yes, yeah.

Yeah.

Julie Duffy Dillon (15:07)

systems of oppression that can also push people into it. And so it may be helpful. All right, well, not even may. I believe it’s helpful to have conversations with kids that are age appropriate to start to like add information in. And it kind of reminds me of like things like talking about sex or racism. Like you wanna, it’s not just one conversation, right? It’s like this thing that you go through a little bit at a time and

Heidi Schauster (15:18)

Totally.

Julie Duffy Dillon (15:37)

you know, talking to kids about like, yeah, sometimes it’s hard to like remember how to take care of myself. And sometimes I mess up. think about like, our kids will do that sometimes. Sometimes they’ll get a tummy ache from eating too much candy or something in that moment. And so like making that just like, hey, yeah, that happens. You know, we all kind of messed up. Yeah, like this is a normal part of being a human. Yeah, yeah, I think that’s something. Yeah, yeah. And like giving kids the vocabulary.

Heidi Schauster (15:56)

we all do it. Yep. ⁓ Absolutely.

Julie Duffy Dillon (16:07)

to do that, you know, I think can be really helpful. And ⁓ something else that I think is really, ⁓ I want to highlight on this letter was ⁓ how this person really doesn’t know what they need yet, how they’ve had just been conditioned to deny their needs. Is there something that you have found? I mean, it’s something we can just kind of talk about together too is like, how can people start to connect with actually what do they want?

if they’ve never been able to answer that question. And I can see that I would spill over to other things besides just like, what do I want to eat for dinner?

Heidi Schauster (16:44)

I mean, if you’re conditioned to always be looking outside of yourself for information about what you should be doing at any given moment, which many of us are socialized that way, especially I think those who identify as female ⁓ are socialized to look outside of ourselves and be caregivers ⁓ and take care of what needs to be taken care of. ⁓ And I like that part of myself. It helps me to be…

Julie Duffy Dillon (16:49)

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Heidi Schauster (17:13)

It helped me to be a good mom. helps me to be a good friend, like, you know, a good therapist. You know, that’s great. But it’s a skill also to be able to take a pause and to check in and say, is this really serving me right now? Is this person that I’m talking to landing with me in a way that I want to stay in this conversation? ⁓ Is this situation that I’m finding myself in right now?

Julie Duffy Dillon (17:15)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Heidi Schauster (17:41)

actually working for me or is it not? Is this food that I’m eating appealing or not? And if we’re not used to checking in with ourselves, then it can be ⁓ really hard to identify what it is that we need or we want. So it’s a practice. ⁓ know, and I mean, there are so many ways to be more embodied and checking in with ourselves, but ⁓ it’s something to learn if it’s not been taught to you.

Julie Duffy Dillon (17:46)

Mm-hmm.

And yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah,

and don’t have that experience. Yeah, like I think for like typical development is we’re supposed to have those experiences as kids where we kind of try things out. So we then we have by the time we’re adults that we have lots of experience. And yeah, for this person, they just don’t have that experience. So the time could be now to start experimenting. And you know, the somatic work is a big part of how you work with clients and what you write about is there.

Heidi Schauster (18:11)

with our game owners.

Mm-hmm.

Julie Duffy Dillon (18:39)

Is there a part of that we can weave in for this person? Like if someone’s like, I don’t even know if I’m hungry or I don’t even know what it’s like to be in my body. Like where could they start?

Heidi Schauster (18:50)

Yeah, I mean, I trained in somatic experiencing because I just found that to be true for so many of my clients over the years that there’s such a disconnection with being in the body. We like we can think about what it is that we might want to eat or what everybody tells us we should eat or the right way to eat or the you know, not if there even isn’t is the right way. Of course, we know there isn’t. But we can have like a brain kind of sense about

Julie Duffy Dillon (18:57)

yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Heidi Schauster (19:20)

feeding ourselves, but to have a full bodied, whole bodied sense, it’s very foreign to a lot of our clients. ⁓ Sometimes that’s related to trauma and just being disconnected from the body. And sometimes that’s just, again, we’ve learned to be a caretaker in our lives and not be someone who tunes in. So, ⁓ I mean, I love any kind of somatic practices or…

Julie Duffy Dillon (19:28)

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Heidi Schauster (19:49)

⁓ I mean, I love somatic experiencing because that’s my training ⁓ to help someone get more connected to sensation. And then when you’re more connected to sensation, then it is easier to make choices about how to care for your body. But, you know, it can be complicated to get connected to sensation if you’ve been cut off from your body for good reason to sort of support your survival or safety in the world.

Julie Duffy Dillon (19:58)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yes, yes.

Heidi Schauster (20:17)

Sometimes it’s helpful to be cut off from our bodies. And so it’s like, it is a lot of work to sort of get through that threat response that sometimes comes up when we try to tune in, if that makes sense. ⁓

Julie Duffy Dillon (20:19)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that does. And what I hear

from all of that is like, there’s no like right or wrong way. And it’s not going to be like an all or nothing experience. You know, this is something where you can dip your toe in and do it on your own terms, you know, and especially thinking about TC’s upbringing and like, in rigid diet kind of mentality, they may think that that they have to do it the right way, even this part. And yeah, there isn’t. I think there’s so much ⁓

to be said about the person who’s really working to change the trajectory of their lineage. And I know for a lot of us, that’s what we’re doing. We’re one of the first in the family to say no to passing on weight bias, to passing on diet mentality, while we’re still recovering and healing our own. And so heavy. That’s just such a big heavy burden to hold. ⁓

Heidi Schauster (21:16)

Yes.

Absolutely.

Julie Duffy Dillon (21:28)

I think for me and for lot of people, I wonder for you too, like having community is like, just it feels, it makes it feel so much lighter, you know?

Heidi Schauster (21:39)

Absolutely. And we don’t have to be perfect. One of the things I wrote a lot about in Nurture in my last book, which is geared towards parents and caregivers, is that I made so many mistakes, even being ⁓ an eating disorder specialist for 30 years, I still would say things that like,

Julie Duffy Dillon (21:42)

Yes, yes.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Heidi Schauster (22:03)

I would regret or I would chase my kids out the door with their breakfast, even though I knew I shouldn’t be doing that. ⁓ Because it’s like, it’s just our, it’s what we do sometimes as a mom. ⁓ And it’s just important to be compassionate with ourselves that we’re learning and we’re in a process of learning how to be in the world with these children that we’re supporting. And you know, we don’t always get it right. And it’s okay. It’s okay.

Julie Duffy Dillon (22:08)

Hahaha!

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, nobody is. Yeah, like nobody’s getting

it right. Even with all the education and experience and helping people unpack it. Yeah, I’m totally with you on that too.

Heidi Schauster (22:33)

Yeah

Yeah. But I think if you can say, if you can say like to your child, like, you know, I was just like hating on my body a moment ago. And I’m, you know, I’m trying not to do that. I wish I hadn’t done that in front of you. I’m sorry. I’m going to try to say something nice, you know, to myself now instead, you know, that little, that little moment is so useful. We don’t have to be perfect, but we want to catch ourselves in a space where, ⁓

Julie Duffy Dillon (22:52)

Yes. Yes.

Mm-hmm. Yes, that is so great.

Yes.

Heidi Schauster (23:10)

you know, we have a moment that where we could sort of teach them something about a different way. Because they’re certainly gonna hear a lot of diet culture and a lot of body loathing out in the world. ⁓ if we catch ourselves saying something negative, you know, we can reduce and repair around it with our kids. And that can be really valuable.

Julie Duffy Dillon (23:15)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

You know, one of the things that I’ve read a lot about is how, ⁓ you know, we’re both Gen Xers, right? So like, and our generation, ⁓ we’re like, a lot of us are the first ones in our family to say we’re sorry to our kids, and just and normalize it. And what I hear with that one is saying sorry to yourself, like, and just

Heidi Schauster (23:49)

No. Yeah.

Julie Duffy Dillon (23:55)

Being transparent, I think that teaches so much. That’s such a beautiful thing that you just shared because I think it does. It shows how to say sorry, how to be accountable, how to acknowledge your imperfections and to tolerate all of that. I mean, that’s, yeah. And I have a feeling TC’s doing so much of that already. And I don’t know, I wanna give TC a high five. You’re doing the good work, yeah.

Heidi Schauster (24:21)

Yeah, me too. I

just, yeah, I think that like this, like, you make me so anxious and demoralized that comes up at the end. And, know, let, you know, TC is human and food is complicated and food gets more complicated when you have to feed a family. You know, I think, I think just the fact that you’re even thinking about it and trying to sort of and try to move through

Julie Duffy Dillon (24:31)

Mm-hmm.

Heidi Schauster (24:51)

a place where there might be some more peace there and there might be some more transparency. Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Duffy Dillon (24:55)

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, before

we wrap up, there’s one more thing I want to add to that because I don’t know. We can’t tell from the letter how old the children are. I don’t know what I pictured younger, elementary age or younger, where you are sitting down and having meals together or at least preparing the meals still for the kids. And my kids are teenagers and yours are like off.

Heidi Schauster (25:24)

Yeah,

Julie Duffy Dillon (25:25)

not teenagers anymore.

Heidi Schauster (25:25)

220. 220-year-olds. Yeah.

Julie Duffy Dillon (25:27)

So something that I can appreciate is like there’s seasons where it’s really hard and exhausting and it changes. So I wish someone would have told me that when whenever I would hear my young kids be like, mom, what’s for dinner? And I’d be like, ⁓ my gosh. Like, and it’s so much easier now, now that we can, I don’t know, have that some dialogue and we, have more practice and ⁓ yeah. So I imagine for two.

Heidi Schauster (25:34)

Yes.

No.

and they can

maybe even cook themselves.

Julie Duffy Dillon (25:55)

Yeah, I think I’m

raising children though that don’t enjoy cooking either. No, I shouldn’t say that because it’s really just my oldest, my younger one does enjoy cooking. But ⁓ you know, that’s okay. That’s okay. But it’s not as hard. It doesn’t feel as complicated and urgent. Like there’s just more leeway. I don’t know when they get older. And then I would assume the same for you. Like it’s just a different season. Yeah.

Heidi Schauster (26:21)

Absolutely, yeah, absolutely. It does, it gets easier and it also, but I think if you sort of have the, if you set the foundation that, you know, food is the way we fuel our bodies, like we, we need to feed ourselves regularly in order to live and feed our brains and our, ⁓ our bodies in the world. ⁓ It’s important, but it’s not the most important thing in the world. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be present. You know, every.

Julie Duffy Dillon (26:29)

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yes.

Heidi Schauster (26:49)

every three to five hours or so. think if

Julie Duffy Dillon (26:49)

Yes. Yes.

Heidi Schauster (26:51)

we kinda have this like, know, chill mindset about food with our children, then they grow up in a place where they have more of a chill mindset too. And there’s of course other influences out there that we can’t do much about, but if we can keep open dialogue so that when they do see something on social that some weird diet, you know, they might ask about it.

Julie Duffy Dillon (27:01)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that’s a good point. Like set the stage just for more conversation. Yeah, I always want my kids to feel like they have enough. Like I’m like, was that enough lunch that I packed? Was that enough dinner? Like, was that enough food? Like I feel like for me, that’s just been my priority. And then I can’t meet all the other ones. I don’t know how many fruits and vegetables they’re getting, enough fluids, whatever. I don’t know, but like, is there enough food? I feel like if I can do that, check that box off that I feel like.

Heidi Schauster (27:33)

On yes.

Julie Duffy Dillon (27:44)

Most of the time, that’s great. Yeah, that’s the most important.

Heidi Schauster (27:44)

That’s the most important thing. Yeah. Like your job

is to make sure that, you know, you’re providing for them so that they can thrive in their lives. I think that’s the most important thing. And I’m, you know, we’re both, you know, nutritionists saying this too. it doesn’t have to be so pretty or perfect or balanced all the time. It has to be available. And I think the attitude about feeding and the whole process of bringing food,

Julie Duffy Dillon (27:51)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Enough.

Heidi Schauster (28:14)

to the table. that stays fundamentally peaceful, that’s the most important thing. It sounds like TC is really trying to do that.

Julie Duffy Dillon (28:15)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, exactly. I think they’re doing it. they probably, it would be cool if they could like take a step outside of their life and look in and see how they’re actually doing it. But TC, we’re here to tell you that’s what you’re doing. Like you’re doing it. You’re doing it. So before we ⁓ end, ⁓ I want to make sure the listener knows about what you’re working on and also in particular, your TikTok because your videos are hysterically funny.

The ones that you have your brother edit are so good.

Heidi Schauster (28:56)

Really?

Yeah.

Julie Duffy Dillon (29:00)

Do you not think they’re Better check them out for ⁓ sure.

Heidi Schauster (29:02)

I’m glad you think they’re funny. No, no, no. mean, they’re strategic. You know, I,

if somebody had told me a year ago that I was going to be doing videos on Instagram and TikTok and YouTube, I would have been like, yeah, right. I’m too old. But when you’re like, I’m trying to write a third book right now for young adults. And so I’m wanting to increase my platform of younger people.

Julie Duffy Dillon (29:16)

They’re great.

Yeah,

yeah, I reached the message, yeah.

Heidi Schauster (29:29)

And so I’m trying to appeal

to a younger audience and add a little lightness and have a little fun. yeah, and my brother’s been helpful because he’s used to doing this sort of thing.

Julie Duffy Dillon (29:36)

Mm-hmm.

He’s

hysterical, like the things that he does. So we’ll put a link to your TikTok in there. But yeah, tell us about the books you already have out. And I’m glad that you mentioned that the one that you’re working on, because I think that’s one that’s going to fill a big need. But yeah, Nourish and Nurture, tell us about those.

Heidi Schauster (29:58)

Um, okay. Yeah. Nurt, nourish I wrote in 2018 and, um, nurture came out last year. It’s, um, nourishes for, you know, anyone who’s doing their healing work on food, body, and self. And nurture is for, um, parents and caregivers. Um, like TC exactly. Um, and it, I, I tried to provide a compassionate.

Julie Duffy Dillon (30:11)

Mm-hmm.

for like TC. Yeah, this is like, yeah. Yes.

Heidi Schauster (30:25)

But, you know, with some authority, given the work that I’ve done in the field, ideas about how to feed kids in a way that raises them to appreciate food and appreciate their bodies and themselves, ⁓ given the world that we live in, given this like selfie oriented culture that we live in. yeah, those are the two books that I have out now and I’m really trying to also write now for a…

Julie Duffy Dillon (30:30)

Yeah.

Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Heidi Schauster (30:53)

young adult audience because I just think they’re being targeted so much by social media and by the self-care industry. ⁓ They don’t even have to spend all their money on the things ⁓ and they don’t realize that actually, you know, caring for themselves is so much more. It’s like, it’s really an inner experience. ⁓ So that’s where I’m at now. That’s what I’m writing about.

Julie Duffy Dillon (31:02)

Hmm, self care industry.

Mm-hmm.

Love it. Love

1. So if someone wants to get a taste of your writing, where can they find you?

Heidi Schauster (31:25)

I’m on Substack. ⁓ My Substack is Nourishing Words with Heidi Schuster. ⁓ So you can find me on Substack if you like Substack. ⁓ And my website is, ⁓ it’s anourishingword.com.

Julie Duffy Dillon (31:26)

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Got it. We’ll put all those

in the links below. No problem. Thank you so much for your time and helping me unpack this letter and sharing all the wisdom you have.

Heidi Schauster (31:54)

Thank you so much for having me, Julie. This was a treat. ⁓

Julie Duffy Dillon (31:55)

Yes, my pleasure. I know it

was fun to chat. Thank you.

Heidi Schauster (31:59)

Mm-hmm.

Julie Duffy Dillon (32:01)

All right, listener, don’t quite end the episode yet because food has written back to TC. But I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope you enjoyed the chat with my good friend, Heidi Schuster, and definitely check out our Substack. I’m gonna try to arrange a Substack Live with Heidi so we can dive deeper into this conversation and you can connect with us there. So if you haven’t joined me on Substack, I encourage you to do so.

There are lots of different benefits to joining me there, whether you’re a free or a paid subscriber. Namely, you get access to these episodes without any dynamic ads put in. So that’s a win, right? And if you have the ability to become a paid subscriber of

Find Your Food Voice, you will continue to help me to be able to do podcasting and writing as my full-time job, pay my team a living wage, and support me and my family. So we appreciate any support you can give us along the way. All right, I see food has written back, but I wanna say goodbye until next time, and I’ll be back in two weeks with another episode of Find Your Food Voice.

Dear tired caretaker, we see your pain. You’re carrying such a heavy, uncomfortable burden. What if you could break it up into smaller pieces, taking time to acknowledge, care for, and repair your complicated relationship with food and body that has been passed on to you for many generations? How would that impact that daily question? What’s for dinner, mom? You don’t have to pretend. You can connect with different levels of support on your terms.

Attending to this deeper relationship will help you take off that mask, be real,

and help your family connect to their own food voice. Love food. Thank you for listening to the Find Your Food Voice podcast. It is written, edited, and produced by me, Julie Duffy Dillon.

Show notes and social media is all run by Rachel Popik and Coleen Bremner joins us for some episodes and helps us behind the scenes as well. I so appreciate the team and they really make this show shine. So thank you guys.

We look forward to being in your ears in the next two weeks. Until then, take care.